AUTHOR: Meghan O'Connor EMAIL: gyrfalcon@yahoo.com FEEDBACK: Please! But this is my second published LGM fanfic, so be gentle! RATING: PG-13 DISCLAIMER: Mulder, Scully, Skinner, Byers, Langly, and Frohike are 1013's. However, Rachel Ann MacGregor is all mine. Song by Leann Rimes, all rights reserved etc. etc. SPOILERS: The X-Files, all up to the last season finale, and the LGM series. CATEGORY: Post-Colonization, Character death, LGM/other SYNOPSIS: Looking back on one woman's life AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just popped into my head. After reading a lot of slash fic of the boys, and some with all of them together, I decided to pop Rachel into the mix. Look what developed! Could be depressing, but also very hopeful in tone. /I need you like water, like breath, like rain/I need you like mercy from heaven's gate/There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through/I need you---Leann Rimes, "I Need You" / My name is Rachel Ann MacGregor, and it is Freedom Year 49. I was born in the Time Before, in the old date 1970. In the old date, Colonization and the Rebellion happened in 2004. I would have called this year 2053. It has been a slow rebuilding, and my dearest friend has taken on the task of archivist so future generations will know what their parents won for them. He is known now only as the Archivist. He who keeps the records of the Time Before. But I knew him as a Lone Gunman, John Fitzgerald Byers. It was always he who could analyze patterns, see the truth. He is our idealist. I always marveled at the amount of knowledge in that man's mind, he's a walking encyclopedia. We were the first to receive the vaccine that Mulder stole from the first ship. We had no idea it would make us live so long. He and I often speak of how tired we are, but we keep going for our children. My own children have heard many stories of our hard-won freedom from the aliens, and my grandchildren now hear the tales. But in the beginning of the fight, we didn't think we would ever make it this far. You will undoubtedly recognize many historical names that I mention. I was privileged to be close to some of the key figures of the Rebellion. My own part was not large, but we were all essential. And I am so proud of bringing forth part of the new human race into the Freedom Years. In the Time Before, I was what they called an appliance repair person. I met the Lone Gunmen when their refrigerator broke down. As adept with electronics as they were, they had to call a specialist to fix their aged icebox. I was always interested by the unusual and alternative viewpoints, and read their newspaper. They were so unappreciated for their predictions then. We became good friends, and we spent a lot of time together. Through them, I met their compatriots known as Mulder and Scully. I recall when Chancellor William was born, what a special night. But our friendship changed drastically when Colonization happened. Anyhow, before I wander too much? When Colonization happened, we kept in contact with others through electronic means as best we could. We had left the city and hid out in a mountain resort up north. We chose that due to the aliens problem with the lower temperatures. It was myself, Byers, Melvin Frohike, and Richard "Ringo" Langly. Yes, I see that you recognize those names. Pioneers of your systems, you have them to thank for the fact you have any technology at all. Well, maybe I exaggerate. I certainly don't know what I would have done without them. It had become our new home up there, just we four. We were a family of choice. Mulder and Scully came later that year, but it was just us for quite some time. We weren't sure we would ever come back if the Rebellion failed. I suppose the first move was mine. The guys were out hunting, and had been attacked by a bear. Mostly bruises, no broken bones, a few scratches here and there. But my heart was pounding like a jackhammer. (Look it up, dear) All I could think of was how close I came to losing the men I loved. Let me tell you, that thought shocked me. I was raised in the old way, one man and one woman was the limit. I actually had to take a whole day to think about the way I felt. Being men from the Time Before, they looked very nervous when I sat them down the next day and said we had to talk. (Ask the Archivist, dear, he'll tell you why that's funny) I explained that I realized I loved them all equally, as men and more than friends. They admitted they loved me, but weren't sure how to express that affection. I insisted on a slow development to the relationship, and we spent at least a month in comfortable caring. It was wonderful, being loved by three such different men, but knowing we would all do anything for each other. Frohike, my dear Mel, took a while to get over the fact that I was young enough to be his daughter. I think my love for him gave him a better self-image as he aged. He was gallant and cuddly, and could be quite vulgar in a weird mood. But it was endearing in its own way. He was like holding a bear. Normally lumbering and quiet, but a fierce protector and dangerous when angered. Byers, my lovely John, so tender and gentle. No one could replace Suzanne in his heart, but I managed to fill some of the gaps and make him feel loved again. He was always the one to hold me, to calm me down when I needed it. My eye of the storm. Our love was a blending of colors, of interlinked hands. Langly. Ah, my fierce lion. He always seemed so warm, I never needed as many blankets when next to him. I was his first. I know I wasn't his only, but I couldn't begrudge his knowing what else was possible later. But he was always so heated, so passionate. I hardly ever called him Richard, never Ringo. Maybe Ree in more private moments, but Langly suited his panther-like movements. I loved feeling stalked and captured by him. On occasion, we would all fall into love at the same time. The guys were very slow to be affectionate with each other, but they came to realize that it was just another expression of their feelings for each other. It was as if they stopped being a tripod holding me up, and we four became the base of a pyramid, meeting at the top. We kept separate bedrooms for sanity's sake, but occasionally drug the mattresses together as we ourselves became one. Forgive my tears, this is not easy to recall. Let me focus on the good parts first. Mulder and Scully came to get us and take us back to "civilization". They were a little surprised by our relationship, but accepted it more readily than most. They of all people could see how things would never be the same again.. I think they were happy for us, for having found such a peace. We did discuss if we really wanted to go back, but in the end, we found that we wanted more human contact. So we packed our belongings and said farewell to our idyllic honeymoon home. A year later? Sorry. It still hurts after all this time. A year later, we lost Mel. The vaccine may have protected him from aliens, but nothing protected him from pneumonia. If that stubborn damn fool hadn't stayed out on guard duty through the rain so Mulder could sleep. It wouldn't have killed Mulder? Sorry, dear. I miss my bear so much. Perhaps soon I'll see him again. On a happy note, however, I'm sure he heard my last words. I visited him under mask and gown in the infirmary, although Scully wasn't pleased. I know I felt him squeeze my hand as I managed to tell him about Melissa. I didn't know then that it would be a girl. I also wasn't truly sure as to her parentage until several months later, when I asked Scully to do a DNA test. The knowledge that a part of Mel would continue made it a little easier for all of us. When she married Chancellor William, we all cried. We know Mel would have been so proud. I'm sure he was watching. At least Langly got to see his children grow up, mostly. He passed on in Freedom Year 15, or 2020 as I knew it. We knew his heart would give out eventually with that murmur it had. Guess he wasn't a complete hypochondriac. Langly, Byers and I had three more children between us. It was obvious that Annie and Michael were Langly's, with that beautiful blond hair and ocean-colored eyes. He always said that Annie's hair was strawberry blonde, but I don't think my red came out that much in her. I know Byers gave her away when she married, but she always mourned that her biological father wasn't there. Michael lives in another town, but visits as often as he can. We often find it funny how the child of such a rebel actually takes after his mentor, Walter Skinner. He's so quiet, but so strong and smart. I'm sure he's a born leader. My third child was definitely the child of my gentle John. Sean is a dreamer and a poet, and so good with kids. He hasn't found a wife yet, but I think that Beth he's been seeing is a definite possibility. Byers tells me not to nag about grandkids, but I know he would love to see more babies with soft brown eyes and auburn hair. Sean definitely got a combo of my hair and John's. I got fixed after Scully said I really shouldn't have any more after Michael, but John and I didn't mind all the local kids coming around. It was like a big adopted family, and he got to be a father four times before as well. Not to mention all the grandkids Annie and Melissa have given us. I know we see Frohike and Langly in their eyes. I'll give you more details, but I really need to lay down now. Like I told the Archivist, I'm getting tired easier these days. Perhaps I'll go see him tonight and reminisce. It's been a hard life, but it's been good. In this world or the next, our family will go on.