TITLE: Learning To Fly (1/4)

AUTHOR: jrw

RATING: PG--language mostly.

CATAGORY: Colonization, Resistance, Married with Baby, xovers from
Twin Peaks and Northern Exposure.  Alternate world; the world of the
Occasional Journals of Dana Scully, M.D.  

SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully face up to the long-term implications of
life--with child--in the Resistance.  Both find unexpected sources of
help they didn't expect.  The Resistance begins to develop new forms.

DISCLAIMER: The only one I claim is Hope Catherine Mulder, plus the
hamlets of Caribou, Alaska and Otter Bay, Oregon.  The others belong
to Chris Carter, Brand and Falsey, Lynch et al.  No money exchanged,
no ownership implied.  . 

SPOILERS: Probably everything I've seen.  Nothing overt.  Divergence
from orthodox XF after Two Fathers/One Son (most likely--in this world
they didn't get the X Files back).

DISTRIBUTION: Disseminate where you will.

COMMENTS: I'm writing these as they pop into my head--nothing big,
nothing formal.  Unblocking for nonfanfic writing.  This is a sequel
to the Occasional Journals of Dana Scully (1 & 2, unfinished 3) and
Morning Moment.  Reading Morning Moment is probably a good idea.

MUSIC TO READ BY: Pink Floyd, Momentary Lapse of Reason.

FEEDBACK: Yes. Please.  E-mail or atxfc.

******************************************************

April 9, 2002.
3 pm.
Jacques Renault's old cabin, near Twin Peaks, Washington.


"Scully, we can't stay here."  

There.  He'd said it.  It'd taken twenty four hours of stewing and
brooding on his part, that and waiting for the right moment.  Now he
wasn't sure that there was a right moment.  He leaned forward on the
kitchen chair, bracing himself for her explosion.

Her back visibly tightened under the old green and gold flannel shirt.
She straightened up from the dishes and whirled around.

"What the *hell* are you talking about, Mulder?  You're in no shape to
travel, and the baby--"

"I traveled well enough to get here from Skaha."  He kept his voice
quiet and calm, careful not to provoke her.  "Katie and I will travel
just fine.  We need to get out of here.  For her sake.  Our sake.
Most of all, for you."

"What do you mean?"  She leaned back against the sink, arms crossed,
nailing him with ice blue eyes, head tossed back defiantly.

He faced her gaze.  "I mean you need to get out of this place most of
all."

"Of all the---!"  She threw up her hands and began to pace.  "What is
this?  Are you buying into Fleischman's bullshit now?  Are you joining
the Dana Scully is crazy club?  Damn it, Mulder, I expected better of
you!  Shit, I've been on my own with this baby, not knowing if you
were alive or dead, not knowing whether those aliens are out there
coming to grab me and Katie--Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what did you
expect me to do?  Be Mrs Sweetness and Light should Spender show up?
Boot him out for exposing Katie to secondhand smoke?"

"Scully."  He used every ounce of calmness he could project in his
voice.  "Scully, damnit, that's not it.  I don't think you're crazy.
I think your reactions have been completely predictable, explainable,
and logical.  Which is why we need to get out of here."

"Mulder, do you realize what it's going to take?"  Scully waved her
hands wildly.  "I've got to pack for the baby, and you, and how in
hell am I going to move you around plus find another place to stay and
get the lab organized to move and dodge the Colonists and the Rebels
and their supporters and--Damn it, Mulder, it's just too damn much!
I'm not even together after leaving Caribou!"

"Fleischman can handle the lab.  Coop can find another place.  I can
help with the baby.  Scully, it's not just about us, not just about
you.  If there's one thing I've learned in the four months we've been
apart, it's how damn fragile everything is right now.  We're hot.  All
of us.  The longer we stay here, the more likely what happened to
Cecily and Caribou will happen here too.  We've got to plan on moving
often to keep Them--all of Them--from getting us."

She stared at him.  "Mulder, you're telling me we're going to have to
keep moving every few months?  Uprooting ourselves, our routines, our
child?  Never settling down in one place or getting ourselves some
friends without risking everyone's life?  I can't do it, I can't do
it, I CAN'T DO IT!!!!!"  She whirled away and started to storm out of
the room.

"Scully--"  He started up after her, forgetting his crutches.  His
still-mending shattered ankle with the inadequate cast gave away under
him and he collapsed, pain knifing upwards through his leg,
momentarily doubling up his body and reducing his world to a narrow
circle of agony.  "Shit.  Shit.  SHIT!"  He forced himself to breathe
deep, breathe slowly, get the pain to subdue itself.  Slowly he rolled
to his knees--breathe slowly, breathe slowly, keep it calm.  Get to
his feet, go after Scully, calm her down, he'd done it all wrong.

As the pain faded away and he could think beyond it, he realized she'd
come back.  Was collapsed, sobbing, a few feet away, leaning against
the kitchen cabinets.  He crawled over to her.  Braced himself against
the cabinets.

Then he gently took her into his arms, murmuring softly as he rubbed
her back.  She clung tightly to his chest, her slight body shaking as
she cried for the umpteenth time in the four days they'd been back
together.

Finally, she looked up at him.  "S-sorry.  I just--snapped.  I don't
know why--Mulder, am I crazy?  Is there something wrong with me?  Why
am I like this?  I can't control it--I'm not myself, I don't know
what's wrong, I'm crying all the time--"

"Sh.  Sh.  It's okay.  It's normal.  Damnit, Scully, you can't have a
baby and all the stuff we've been through for the past few years
without some reaction.  You've been under a hell of a lot of pressure
and you've got hormones whipsawing you all over the place as well.
It's *normal.*  It's to be *expected.*  You've been on your own
without a break--well, I'm here now.  I'm *here.*"

"I just--I just--Mulder, do we have to go?  I'm overwhelmed."

"Of course you are.  But I'll take care of it.  You just worry about
Katie.  Coop's got a lead or two on a new place right now, and I've
told Fleischman to work out a lightweight lab arrangement.  We've
gotta do that anyway if we're gonna get anywhere with our resistance,
Scully.  Having the vaccine originating in one place is too damned
dangerous."

"It just seems like--so much."

"Yeah."  He sighed.  "We took a bad hit at Cecily and Caribou, honey.
We can't afford that type of organization any more.  This is an all
out, no holds barred war with at least five sides I can think of.  And
we're hot.  All five of us--you, me, Fleischman, Maggie, Cooper--six
if you count Mike Monroe, seven with Katie.  But I think we're better
off together than apart--especially with us and the baby.  In fact, I
think we need a couple more folks, just to spread out the work."

"Is it going to be any good?"  She buried her head in his chest.
"Maybe we're just fighting a losing battle.  Maybe we need to just go
hide out somewhere, hide out until we have to fight again."  She
trembled again, on the brink of sobs.  "Oh God--does Katie really even
have a future?  What have we done to her, Mulder?"

"Dana.  Don't do this to yourself."

The unexpected use of her first name brought her head up.  Gently he
took her head in his hands.  "Honey.  There is a future.  The vaccine
scares the hell out of those aliens--as it should."  He pushed a stray
strand of hair out of her face, brushed away the silent tears
trickling down her face.  "I know we'll win.  Eventually.  It's a
matter of time.  But we're kidding ourselves if we think it's going to
be an easy, short, battle.  It's not.  We can't think of it that way.
We've gotta plan for the long term, link up with other groups, pump
out the vaccine and in the meantime try to have some semblance of a
life."

She crumpled against him.  "I don't know if I can do it.  I just
don't."

"Sure you can.  We can.  It's just one step at a time.  Honey, you're
overwhelmed at the moment, for good reason.  You are.  Really.  You're
a doctor.  Think about it."

She sniffled against his chest, then sat up, fixing him with a glare
akin to the old Scully he knew and loved.  "Fox William Mulder, are
you telling me I've got postpartum depression?"

He nodded, slowly.  "Textbook case, Scully.  Again, for damn good
reasons."

"Oh *brother.*"  She sighed explosively and slumped back against the
cabinets.  She started to giggle hysterically.  "We're in the
middle--giggle--of a fucking alien invasion--giggle--you're telling me
we're among the most wanted--giggle--and I have postpartum depression?
Oh, brother!"

"Life goes on, Scully.  Even in the middle of a crisis.  Even for the
toughest of us.  No one's immune."

She took a deep breath and visibly relaxed.  "I don't know what to
do--where to start--what to think--"

He took his own deep breath.  Now was time to tell her the rest of it.

"Coop thinks he's found a place, Scully.  Already.  It's on the
southern Oregon coast, a small town called Otter Bay.  Airplane strip,
one of the few small bays down there that boats can go in and out of
easily, backs up on some rough country leading to the Kalmiopsis
wilderness area and a stronghold of gold miners and anti-alien
survivalists.  There's a lot of refugee traffic passing through, and
Father Martin of St. Catherine's has been very helpful.  Coop's been
watching it for a while.  I was going to go check it out myself as our
next step from Caribou--before everything blew up.  At the least it'll
be a place to go while we get our act together, organize, and plan
where we'll live next."

"You don't think the aliens are already watching?"

"Oh hell, they probably are.  But let me tell you, Scully, they'd have
to go inch by inch to clear out that area.  That whole Northern
California/Southern Oregon area's been bristling with arms, dope
growers, anarchists and resistances for years.  I think it's our best
chance to establish a safe area.  Ever read the Ecotopia books by
Ernest Callenbach?  There's a bunch of folks there who seriously
believe in 'em.  Colonization was just an excuse to put the whole
thing in action."

"Whackos.  Gun nuts.  Dope growers.  Sheesh, Mulder, we probably did
background checks on some of those folks--"

"Yep.  Safest place in the world for us at the moment."

She reached out for his hand and stroked it.  "So what happens next?"

"You and Coop go find us a place to stay in Otter Bay."

She shook her head.  "No.  I'm not going without you."

"Scully, you need this break--"

"No.  I'll go, but only with you and Katie."  Her voice started to
raise in pitch.  "I'm not taking any chances on lo-losing either one
of you.  If I was away and something happened--"

He sighed, accepting the inevitable.  "All right, then.  We'll go
together."

Anything to get her out of this place of her own free will.

Besides, the more he thought about it, the more the pattern seemed to
fit.  It was right for them to go together; right in some way he
couldn't explain or define.  It just fit a pattern which seemed to be
starting to come together over the past few days.

***************************************************************************

end part 1 of 4.

***********************************************

April 21, 2002.
Otter Bay, Oregon.

The distant cry of seagulls startled her awake.  

It wasn't the noise she'd come to expect.  Dana Scully lay still, arm
thrown over her face, briefly disoriented.  She'd actually slept well
last night; no nightmares, no waking baby, no lying awake for hours
with knotted muscles and racing mind worrying about anything and
everything.

Otter Bay.  They'd finally made it to Otter Bay, after a hellish trip
wrestling with a reluctant car and struggling along slick, muddy
mountainous logging roads to avoid possible roadblocks on the main
roads.

Cautiously, she lifted her arm off her face, holding herself tight
against the familiar descent of tension.  No doubt she'd pay for this
night of relaxation.  Any minute now she expected someone to start
yelling a warning that the Colonists or the Rebels or their human
supporters and subfactions were descending upon this small beachfront
motel apartment to take them prisoner.

Nothing happened.

She opened her eyes.  Katie slept in her portable crib, sprawled on
her back, one baby hand wide open and relaxed.  Her lips twitched in a
sucking motion while her closed eyes twitched in REM sleep.

Mulder grunted and rolled onto his side, one hand fumbling to pull her
close.  His arm relaxed across her belly and his breathing resumed its
normal even, steady sleep pattern.  

Her muscles refused to lock themselves into the tense pattern which
had become second nature over the last four and a half months, since
they'd evacuated Caribou barely an hour before their attackers.  She'd
forgotten what it was like not to be locked in fear.  Maybe it was an
illusion, but right now she felt as if she could dare to take a moment
to be happy.  She rolled on her side and spooned up next to him,
closing her eyes and relaxing into his warmth.  Soon both he and
Katie'd be awake and she'd have work to do.  But for now, for once...

Lips brushed her neck.  "That's better,"  Mulder murmured.  His other
arm slid underneath her and his chin rested on her head.

"I didn't think you were awake."  She snuggled closer.

"Been drowsing for a while.  Listening to the gulls.  Almost like
being a kid again."

"Mmmm.  Yeah.  Except that when I was a kid, I'd be out there already.
Right now I don't want to move."

"You don't need to."

"When Katie wakes up--"

"I'll get her, change her diaper, and bring her to you.  All right?"

She sighed.  "You need to stay off your foot.  You overdid it just
getting here.  Mulder, I can handle it."

He gently turned her to face him.  "I *know* you can handle it.
You've been doing that for the four months I've been gone.  You need a
break.  You know it and I know it."

"But your foot--"

"A few days of pampering you won't make any difference one way or
another.  Besides, we've got Coop here to help.  He's not going to
bring Maggie and Joel in until we're settled.  Look, it's not like
we're going to be charging off doing anything major for a while.  We
all need some recovery time."

She sighed.  "Okay.  I'm not going to fight it. I should, but--"

"Good girl.  Now you're being sensible."  He rolled onto his back.
She tucked herself tightly along his side.  "I prescribe lots of beach
time for you, as well as a lot of long, soaking baths.  Just like
yesterday."

She smiled, remembering walking back and forth on the short stretch of
agate and sand beach, watching the waves pound in from the Pacific,
losing track of time until the mounting pressure in her breasts
reminded her that it was time to nurse Katie, then spending ages in
the motel's small tub in *hot* water.  "That *was* nice."  

"And you'll get more of it."

"But what do you get?  You've been caring for Katie and cooking food
and unpacking and--"

"And reading.  Right now reading's a luxury.  I've been too damned
sick and hurt to read until now.  I enjoy taking care of Katie because
I've missed her first four months, and I feel like I've got to make up
for lost time.  Best of all, I'm seeing you smiling, relaxed and happy
instead of tense, scared and depressed.  That's worth it."

"If you say so."  She traced the Knicks logo on his ragged t-shirt.
"Mulder."

"Mmmhmm?"

"Were you serious when you said you'd go to church with me today, if I
wanted to?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

He shifted slightly.  "A gut feeling that it's the right thing to do
right now.  I can't promise you belief.  I don't know that I'll ever
be able to do that.  I just--"  he shook his head.  "I can't explain
it, Scully.  When I was sick, I was bargaining with anything I could
come across just to get healthy enough to get back to you and Katie.
I didn't know for sure that you'd survived Caribou; I wasn't sure
they'd tell me the truth as sick as I was.  If they even knew.  I
swore I'd let you drag me into church and do whatever prayers over my
sorry head, swore I'd let you do whatever it took to make you happy
about Katie, just as long as you were alive and we were back together.
It just--"  he fumbled for words.  "It just seemed like the kind of
promise one doesn't make lightly."

"Being Spooky again?"

"Yeah.  That kind of thing.  It fits the pattern somehow, and I don't
know why yet."

She could accept that.  "Do you know what time Mass is?"

"Ten."  He half-raised up, to check the clock.  "It's seven right
now."

"We've got time, then."

"Yeah."  He snuggled closer, hands roving over her body.  "We've got
time.  Until Katie wakes up."

"You're incorrigable!"

He laughed.

**********************************************************************************

They were late to Mass.  The priest was partway through the opening
dialogue when they slipped into the back pew of the church.  Mulder
took Katie and Dana was able to lose herself in the familiar rhythms
of the Mass.  St. Catherine's was small but crowded, and had three
skilled, alternately solemn and giggly young girls as altar servers.

She had just finished showing Mulder how to receive a blessing from
the priest at Communion, and had turned forward with Katie in her arms
to follow the others forward when she saw them.  She stopped dead
still, trembling.

Mulder touched her gently.  Then his hand tightened on her arm, and
she knew he'd seen them, too.  She stared as she watched first her
mother, then Bill, step forward to recieve the Communion wine.  The
world swirled around her.  How could it be?  How had they gotten here?
Had he already known?  She looked back, and saw the shock on his face.

Then her mother saw them.  She stopped, staring, then half-turned to
Bill.  Bill saw them, stared, then started doing the same thing to her
mother that Mulder was doing with her, guiding her forward, trying not
to attract attention.  Mechanically, she recieved the Body, watched in
a haze as the priest blessed Katie, then Mulder.  He didn't need to
guide her as she walked swiftly to the pew, trying to sit, juggle
Katie, kneel, cry silently, and hug her mother all at once.  Then
Mulder was there and eased Katie out of her arms, and she was free.

Part of her was aware they were making a scene, no matter how quiet
they were, and part of her didn't care.

Their old world was destroyed.  At last, finally, she could see the
possibility  of a new one, a possiblity which had eluded her ever
since their crazed flight to Caribou, eighteen months before.

*****************************************************************************

end part 2 of 4

Part 3 of 4

Disclaimers in part 1.

****************************************************
April 21, 2002.
Otter Bay, Oregon.

He couldn't believe it.  He couldn't fucking believe it.  If it hadn't
been the middle of Mass, if he hadn't seen similar reunions in Otter
Bay over the past two weeks, Bill Scully would have shook his head in
disbelief.  

It'd taken him a while after Tara and Matty were killed to convince
Mom that they needed to leave Southern California; that the chances of
Dana and Charlie surviving and making it to them there were miniscule
at best.  Hell, he hadn't been sure *they* could escape through the
tight roadblocks the alien symps had set up, even though he still had
the forged credentials he'd been using as a vaccine runner.  Not that
he trusted them, not after the raids after his trip to Caribou.
Still, they'd managed to work through both Colonist and Rebel
roadblocks--good riddance to both of them.  He breathed easier once
they were clearly in Northern California, where the aliens had a
harder time of it.

They'd worked their way up the coast, looking for clues.  He didn't
have much hope for Charlie.  Their mutual Navy connections would have
gotten news to him by now.  But Dana--he'd thought she and Mulder
would have survived; she and Mulder would have found them. Then they'd
heard about the disaster at Cecily and Caribou, where the human
Resistance had been nearly destroyed.  He'd given up hope then,
suspecting that Dana and Mulder had been at Caribou.

Still, as they worked their way up the coast, he'd heard stories which
suggested the Shadows, the Resistance's sabotage group, still
survived.  He'd figured that Otter Bay was a good place to hook up
with the Shadows.  With luck, he could leave Mom safely there while he
avenged his family.

And now--this.  Their second week in Otter Bay, with no sign
whatsoever of the Shadows (although other resistance-type groups
seemed to thrive), when Dana and Mulder turned up.  In *church,* of
all places.  With a *baby.*  In these times. 

They waited for the crowd to clear out after Mass before leaving.
From the tense way Mulder looked about them it was clear that he was
worried about the possiblity of someone recognizing them after the
obvious reunion.  Bill tried to catch Mulder's eye while Mom and Dana
still hugged, unwilling to let go of each other.

"It's okay,"  he mouthed when Mulder's skittering glance landed on
him. Mulder hesistated.  Then he eased back, still wary.

"Mom,"  Bill said finally.  "Let's go.  We can talk better elsewhere."

Mulder nodded in agreement.  He put one hand on Dana's arm.  "Let's
have them come over to the motel, Debbie."  He looked at Bill and
raised his brows.  Bill nodded, catching the reference.  One got used
to the fact that most people in Otter Bay weren't using their real
names.  Some, in fact, seemed to change their names on a daily basis,
a few even as much as two or three times a day.

Dana brushed her eyes, then reached for the baby while Mulder fumbled
with his crutches and the diaper bag.  Bill waited until they were
outside before offering to take the bag.  God, but Mulder looked like
hell.  Dana did too, but at least she wasn't beat up like he was.  She
was almost as skinny as she'd been during her battle with cancer, with
dark circles under her eyes and a face lined with stress.  But
Mulder--Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the man's face was a mass of scars.
He was thin, too, and the cast on his right foot looked huge.  Bill
also saw traces of scarring on his hands.  Whatever the man'd been
through, it'd been big.

"Thanks,"  Mulder said.  "It's a longer walk than I expected.  I'd
forgotten about walking with crutches."

They fell in behind Dana and Mom.  At first Dana hung back, turning to
check on Mulder.  At last he waved her on, encouraging them to walk on
faster.

"You'll stay with him?"  she asked Bill.

"Yeah."

"Let me take this,"  Mom said, pulling the diaper bag off his
shoulder.  "Good grief, it feels like a suitcase.  Do you two always
carry this much?"

"Better to be prepared for all contingencies,"  Dana said.  Bill
suspected she wasn't talking about the normal run of baby emergencies.
Judging from the weight of the bag, he was willing to bet there was a
full set of baby supplies in the bag, plus a weapon and extra ammo
cartridges to boot.  That's what he'd expect from his sister and
Mulder, in these circumstances.

Once Dana was safely a block ahead of them, Bill pulled out his
cigarettes.  He didn't want a fight with his sister the doctor about
cigarettes, not this soon.  He offered one to Mulder, but he shook his
head.

"When did you start?"  he asked.

"The day Tara and Matty died,"  Bill said grimly.

Mulder winced.  "Shit.  Hell.  I'm sorry, I really am."  He stopped
and shook his head.  "Damn.  You don't know how close we came--damn,
B--"  He cut himself off.  "Virus or something else?"

"Ray,"  Bill said roughly.  "And it was the Rebels.  Damn fucking
Rebels with their damn fucking torches.  Caught in the middle between
the Colonists and the fucking Rebels.  Damn fucking aliens."

"Bastards,"  Mulder grunted.  They walked on in silent accord.

At the motel, Dana and Mom were still wrapped up in conversation, now
centered around the dark-haired baby happily kicking in her swing.
Bill admired his niece briefly, uncomfortably, thinking of the baby
Tara'd been carrying that would have been the same age as Katie.  Then
Mulder fumbled in the kitchenette's refrigerator for a couple of
beers, tossed him one, and jerked his head toward the outside.

"Looked like you needed a break,"  Mulder said finally, as they
settled on the picnic table under a row of wind-dwarfed pines.  "I
don't think they need us in there right now."

"Yeah."  Bill popped the tab and took a big gulp of the beer.  God, it
tasted good.  He hadn't been drinking much lately.  "Tara and I--shit,
M--"

"Mark."

"Mark, our second one would have been the same age."  He took another
big gulp of beer.

Mulder shook his head, rested his elbows on the table and leaned his
forehead on his hands.  "Too damn much,"  he said slowly.  "Too damn
much.  Bi--Ray--man, I don't know what to say.  We came within half an
hour of the same thing.  Half a fucking hour, and I'd be in the same
position as you."

"Just as glad you're not.  Much rather have my sister alive.  You're
lucky where I wasn't,  but I sure as hell am glad that at least you're
lucky.  That's all I want to say about it."

"Much rather have all of them alive."

"Yeah."  They both gulped more beer.  "So,"  Bill said finally.  He
gestured at Mulder's ankle.  "This.  I'm guessing you didn't trip over
the baby's stuff.  Or has my sister been beating you up lately?"

Mulder half-grinned and shook his head.  Then he sighed, staring at
the beer can.  "It's a long, damned story." His hands tightened on the
can.  "The short of it is, Cecily and Caribou.  Where the Colonists
and the Rebels joined together against us."

"Sheeit.  I thought you two had been there--"

Mulder nodded.  "I damned near didn't make it out of Cecily.  They
were in Caribou.  Katie'd been born just four days before.  Did our
best to hold them in Cecily--then some of us broke for Caribou.  Got
there too late.  Bodies were all that were left. Charred,
unrecognizable bodies.  You know."

Bill swallowed some beer.  "Yeah.  I know.  If it hadn't been for--"
He broke it off.  "That's all I want to say about my part."

"Yeah."  Mulder rolled the can between his hands.  "I went nuts,"  he
said finally.  "I'd already seen friends die at Cecily.  They tell me
I attacked the bastards bare-handed.  I don't know.  I don't remember,
except that I wasn't sure if my wife and child were dead or alive.  I
just remember being sick and hurting afterwards.  I don't remember a
fucking thing clearly after I saw Caribou was trashed and people were
being killed.  I just remember waking up later and hurting.  Bad.
Then I got sick.  Four months, it was.  Four months of not knowing
whether they were dead or alive."  He laughed bitterly.  "And now
we're on the run.  High up on the alien hit list--you may not want to
hang around us."

"Figure I'm in damned good company, then."  Bill sighed.  "I'm sure
I'm in there somewhere.  I was a vaccine runner for a while--before
Tara."

"Why'd you stop vaccine running?"

"Someone had to take care of Mom.  I'd lost enough family, and I
wanted her to be safe before I did any more--hell, I was hoping I'd
find Charlie and you guys first.  Then I wanted to start looking for
the Shadows--I'm still looking for the Shadows."

"A lot of people are looking for the Shadows.  Doesn't mean they
should find them."

"I figured you two were hooked up to them, or at least we could hear
of you through them.  And I figured it was the best way to avenge Tara
and Matty."

"Your sister's not a Shadow,"  Mulder said quietly.  "I wouldn't let
her do that, not after she got pregnant.  They already want her bad
enough for other stuff."

"Other stuff?"

"The vaccine is named after the doctors who created it, in descending
order of contribution."

"Named after the doctors--SFC--Sweet Holy Mother of God.  *She* did
it?"

"With help, yes."

"Damn.  And you?"

"Why do you want to join the Shadows?"  Mulder asked.

"Isn't it obvious?"

Mulder sighed.  "People looking for vengence tend to be obsessed.  Or
suicidal.  Often stupid enough to cause others to get hurt or killed.
Vengence isn't enough."

Bill shrugged.  "Maybe I'd still be running vaccine if Tara was alive.
But Mulder, I've gotta do something.  I don't want to sit back and
watch these bastards take over without a fight.  Shit, I guess it's my
duty.  The Navy's gone, but I still owe my allegiance to this country,
whatever's left of it.  To this world."

"There's the Sea Shepherds.  Greenpeace.  Holy Madness."

"The Shepherds and Greenpeace were too damn slow to move against the
aliens, and Holy Madness is a group of fanatics.  Mulder, if I'm gonna
fight, I want part of a group of pros if possible.  The Shadows sound
like pros."

"I guess you could call a bunch of former law-enforcement officers and
ex-military pros."

"Yeah.  I don't know if I'll fit or not with them.  But I'd like to
*try,*  damn it."

The motel room screen door slammed shut.  Dana walked across the
gravel driveway to join them, carrying three beers.

"Mom chased me out,"  she said, plopping fresh beers in front of them
and opening her own.  "Katie's sleeping, and Mom's cooking.  She told
me to come find you two and get some fresh air."  She snuggled up next
to Mulder, leaning against him.

"Good,"  Mulder said.  "I'm glad she sees it too.  I thought she
would."

Dana sat up and frowned at him.  "You haven't been talking to her,
have you?"

"I haven't had the chance.  Hon, it shows.  Big time.  You need a
break."

"Yeah,"  she sighed.  "I guess."  She leaned back against Mulder.  "In
case you're wondering, brother mine, my dear sweet husband has been
pounding me over the head since he got back, because he's convinced
I've had postpartum depression.  Mom has just finished telling me the
same damn thing."

Bill raised his hands, leaning back.  "I'm staying out of it, I'm
staying *completely* out of it."

"Coward."  She grinned at him.  "So.  Mom tells me you two have a
house.  A big house."

"Yeah,"  Bill said.

Dana sat up, looking now at Mulder.  "Mom thinks we should move in
with them.  She told me that way we have someone to take care of Katie
while we're doing our work."

"It's risky,"  Mulder said.  "It's not too bad an idea, but it's
risky.  You've told her what's going on?  She realizes how dangerous
we are?"

"Yes.  Which only makes her more determined to take care of Katie."

"Well,"  Mulder said slowly,  "if she's willing, understands what's
involved, and Bill's willing, then I think it'll be a good thing to
do.  I told you we needed more help."

"We?"  Bill asked.

Dana looked at Mulder.  "You haven't told him?"

"I've told him about *you*.  He's looking for the Shadows."

"Oh."

"But, if you want to tell him, I'm done."

She queried him with an eyebrow raise.  He nodded.  "Flying colors.
We've got help in more ways than one.  I'll let you do it."

"Leaving me the dirty work," she grumbled.  Then she looked at Bill.
"What Spooky here didn't tell you is that you've been talking to the
Head Spook, the Gatherer of Shadows."  She grinned as his eyes
widened.  "Big brother, you're in the presence of two dangerous
characters.  And you're invited to fry right along with us."

"I guess I'd be in good company,"  Bill said.  "You're sure of it?"

Mulder nodded.  "Yeah.  It's gonna involve a lot of traveling.  We've
got to rebuild, and I'm in no position to do a lot of the work right
now.  I need someone I can trust to be my eyes and ears right now.  I
need a lot of someones I can trust.  There's person I want you to
meet; you'll be working with him for a while to learn the drill.
You'll probably remember him from before; he was one of our close
friends then. Then you'll be on your own.  Recruiting and planning
actions.  Up for it?"

Bill took a deep breath.  "Yeah."

"Welcome to the company of the damned,"  Dana said.

**********************************************************************************

end part 3 of 4.

*************************************************************

May 3, 2002
Otter Bay, Oregon

Mulder sat quietly on the hood of the car, staring out over the dark
Pacific, waiting in the dark evening.  Bill and Coop were out there
somewhere, waiting to meet Mike Monroe and the Shepherds and get Joel
and Maggie.  He was here strictly to guard the car and issue any
necessary warnings.

He chewed on a sunflower seed.  Things were fitting together better
than he'd hoped.  Otter Bay was more intransigent than he'd expected;
filled with enough aggressively defiant groups that the Resistance
didn't stick out.  It didn't hurt that the good citizens of the area
had decided--aggressively so--that this was an alien-free zone,
period.  As new residents they'd already been approached about doing
their part on the town's protective systems and patrols; he and
Scully'd been more than willing to oblige to sign up for their parts,
while keeping their own activities secret.

Maybe they wouldn't have to leave Otter Bay.  At the very least, it
wouldn't suffer the fate of Caribou and Cecily, not without a fight.

As it were, he was just glad they had a chance to catch their breath.
He grinned into the darkness.  He'd need it with Scully and Katie.
Amazing what a difference a few days of pampering and regular child
care had done for Scully.  She was back to her old prebaby self with a
full roar, and itching to do more than routine medical work.  Maybe
the Home Guard would fill her needs--he sure didn't want her going out
with the Shadows.  It was all he could do to keep her from joining him
tonight, and only the argument that he didn't want her and Fleischman
together should something nasty happen had kept her at home.  With
Capra dead, she and Fleischman were the only ones who could keep
monitoring the vaccine production and checking the alien virus
mutation rates.  

That had to change, and soon.

But at least he felt that they had a fighting chance, and the time and
space to do it.  Caribou had been a reaction.

Otter Bay was action.

A light flashed once, twice.  He picked up his night vision
binoculars, scanned the ocean waters, nodded to himself as he spotted
his target.  He flashed his light in return, then slid off the hood,
slipping the safety off his gun as he waited.

His nostrils flared as he faced into the breeze off of the ocean.  The
winds of change were blowing.  For the first time in his adult life,
he felt it was possible to master them.

*******************************************

Dana pushed back from her microscope in the makeshift basement lab.
She glanced at the clock.  If everything was working right, Maggie and
Joel would be safely on shore by now.  If everything worked right.

God, she hated this tension, this constant worry.  At least something
had changed since they came here.  Instead of the constant circling of
fear around a tiny space, she felt grounded.  Stronger.  For the first
time she could look at Katie without feeling guilty about bringing a
child into an uncertain world.  

She stood up and stretched her back, then worked her head back and
forth.

For the first time in years she actually felt there was some hope.

Now if Mulder would only stop acting like a protective mother hen....

****************************************************************

Bill Scully grinned as he guided the Zodiac toward the shore.  He'd
missed the sea.  From what Coop and Mulder had both said, it sounded
like he'd have plenty of opportunity to get back on the water.

Damn, it felt good.  It felt good to be back on water.  Good to have a
family again, even if it did mean spending time around Mulder.

Best of all, it felt good to be doing something productive again.

He hadn't thought it was possible, but there actually appeared to be a
glimmering chance of a future ahead.

If not for his children, then for his niece.  And her potential
brothers and sisters.

He had a chart to guide his life by again.

****************************************************

End