Part 5


Friday afternoon by 2 P.M. John was feeling pretty pleased.

His first week at Georgetown had gone smoothly and he'd

made it two nights alone in the townhouse in a row without

having a nightmare. As he was sitting down to sign his

charts, Sheryl, the desk clerk, handing him a pink piece of

paper.



"You got a phone call while you were in with that guy in

curtain two Dr. Carter."



"Thank you, Sheryl." John said, reading the note. It was

from someone named Darryl Camp. John didn't recognize the

name. He picked up the phone and punched in the number.



"Yes, this is Dr. John Carter returning Mr. Camp's phone

call." He said to the woman that answered the phone.



John listened to a bastardized version of a Rick

Springfield song while he was on hold. A few seconds later

a man came on the line. "Dr. Carter, this is Darryl Camp.

I'm Walter Skinner's private attorney."



John's chest suddenly felt too tight to breathe. "What can

I do for you Mr. Camp?"



"I was very sorry to hear that Walter passed away. I have a

letter that he left in my care about eighteen months ago

that is addressed to you, only to be read upon the event of

his death. I'm sorry I waited so long to contact you, but I

knew Walter pretty well and wanted to wait until the FBI

finished their investigation so they didn't try to collect

the letter as evidence."



John started to shake, and the receiver felt slick with

perspiration from his clammy palm. "That was probably very

wise of you. I'll be off duty in an hour. If you give me your

address I'll come pick the letter up."



"It's a little more complicated than that, Dr. Carter.

Walter left very specific instructions. The letter is in a

sealed envelope, and you are to open it and read it

silently in my presence, then seal the letter in a second

envelope and I'm to burn it in the presence of a second

witness."



How very cloak and dagger, John thought. Sounds like

something the Lone Gunmen would cook up. "Sure, that's

fine. Just tell me where to come."



John wrote down the address and agreed to meet Mr. Camp at

3:30. "Oh, Mr. Camp, am I allowed to bring a witness of my

own? More for moral support than anything."



"Yes, that's fine. I'll see you then."



John's next call was to Dana Scully. "Dana, I need you. I

have to go Walter's lawyer's office and I really don't want

to go alone. Can you meet me at the hospital at three?"



She promised to meet him and he hung up. He barely made it

through the rest of his shift. When Dana arrived he was

standing outside of the ambulance bay smoking a cigarette

and pacing the small enclosure. She frowned at him.



"We're taking your car. You're not riding in mine when you

smell like an ashtray."



"Fine, fine, let's go. I don't want to be late."



They arrived at the office of Darryl Camp at exactly 3:30.

It was a small but luxuriously furnished office. The

receptionist showed them into the inner office and offered

them coffee as they settled into buttery-soft leather

chairs that swallowed them whole. A moment later Mr. Camp

came in, a tall formidable-looking man in an Evan Piccone

suit and the distinguished air to go with it.  He was old money-John had
learned to spot it from a mile away after years of cocktail parties at the
family mansion.



John stood and shook his hand, feeling very small and

shabby in his Dockers and Ralph Lauren button down with a

little blood on the right cuff. But Darryl Camp had a big,

open smile to go with his air of power and control. "Dr.

Carter, I'm pleased to meet you. I didn't see much of

Walter while the two of you were together, but he spoke

very highly of you." He shook Dana's hand, bowing slightly.

"Mrs. Mulder."



Dana raised an eyebrow. "Actually, it's still Agent Scully,

but thank you. I changed my marital status, not my name."



John scowled in her direction. He was about to have a heart

attack and she was arguing semantics with this guy.

Couldn't she see he was about to pass out?



Mr. Camp sat down behind an oak desk as big as John's

dining room table. From the middle drawer he pulled a

manilla envelope. Inside it was a creamy ivory envelope

with the words "John Carter" scrawled in Walter's familiar

script. John had to remind himself to breathe before he had

a panic attack. Damn he wanted a drink.



"Dr. Carter, you are to open and read this in my presence,

divulging the contents only if you wish to. After you have

read it the letter is to be resealed in another envelope by

your own hand and burned in front of a second witness.

Agent Scully can be our witness unless you would prefer my

secretary come in."



"No, Dana stays," John said, reaching for the envelope.

With trembling fingers he slid a finger under the flap and

carefully unsealed the envelope. He pulled out the single

sheet or thick ivory paper. His breath left him in an

audible sound as he saw the familiar handwriting. Walter

had loved to write him letters. Passionate, loving, sexy

letters that said all the things that didn't come easily to

a man as reserved as Walter. John had every single letter

Walter had ever written him. And now in his hands he held

the final one he would ever read.



He willed his eyes open and began to read to himself.



<Dearest John Carter,



If Darryl Camp has given you this letter then I am no

longer with you-I am dead. For that is the only way I would

ever leave you.



I love you, John Carter. I can't say it often enough or

show it in enough ways for you to ever know how truly and

completely I mean it. You are my soulmate, my partner, my friend.



If I cannot be with you then I wish a long and happy life

for you. Get married, have children, enjoy the sunset and

the stars. Remember me with love, but don't do what I know

is in your nature and deny yourself all the happiness left

in the world for you. It would pain me deeply for you to

not drink deep of the well of life. One day when we are

together again you can tell me the stories of the wonderful

life you lived and entertain this old man who loved you

well.



You are precious, John, and strong. I know you will do

incredible things with your life, and know that you walk your

path with my love, pride and admiration always. You healed

this broken heart and gave me a new life. You made life

worth living again. If I cannot be there to love you I hope

you find someone who appreciates the wonder that you are,

John. I will rest easy knowing you are being loved as you

deserve.



Be happy, dear one, and know that we will see each other

again someday. If Mulder is right and there's such a thing

as starlight, I'm shining down on you and wishing you joy

in all your days.



Yours Forever,

Walter>



John shook with the effort of containing his grief, his hands balled into
fists as the paper fell to the floor and tears raining down his face. Dana
came to his side and kneeled next to him, her hand on his knee, offering the
only comfort she could.



Darryl Camp and Dana Scully stayed silent as John cried quietly, all
artifice of dignity and decorum stripped from him in his pain. As his sobs
abated and his tears dried Dana asked softly. "John, are you okay?"



"Yeah, I am," he said, sniffling. "I didn't deserve him

Dana. I did nothing to earn being loved so much."



Her blue eyes held his brown ones, her look one of sadness

and affection. "John, you were you. For Walter, and me and

Mulder and Moira that's enough. You don't have to earn it.

We just love you because you're you."



John held her tightly. "I love you too." Those words were

so hard for him. He'd tried his whole life to earn them

from a cool aloof family, and he'd never learned to say

them freely.



Finally John sealed the letter in the envelope Mr. Camp

handed him and watched as he set it on fire in a large

ceramic ashtray with a Zippo lighter. It didn't matter. The

words were engraved on his heart.



Scully drove them back to the hospital to pick up her car. "Do you want to
come

home with me John? You don't look like you need to be alone."



John shook his head. "No, I do need to be alone. I have to stop being
rescued

every time something happens. I have to learn to live with this." He didn't
even

have Kyle to rescue him this time; Kyle was in LA and couldn't be reached.



Dana squeezed his hand. "Don't drink, and call if you need anything. And eat

something."



John gave a short bark of a laugh. "Yes, Mother. Now go home and get off my
case. And thanks for today. Really. I couldn't have gotten through it
without you."



"Yes you could. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for
John. Goodnight." She climbed out of the car and John got into the driver's
seat.



The stars were bright in the clear night sky when John finished dinner and
sat out on the balcony of the townhouse. John thought of the letter and
wondered if one of those glowing orbs was really Walter's spirit shining
down on him. The thought was comforting.



"Walter," he heard himself say softly, feeling kind of silly for speaking
aloud. "I'm in love. Not the way I loved you-nothing else could ever feel
like that. But I do love Kyle. I guess I've been waiting for some kind of
sign that you were okay with that, and in a way I got it today. I'm never
going to forget you or stop loving you, but I think I'm ready to make some
kind of commitment to

Kyle. He's been so loving and patient with me; he deserves for me to at
least try to give some of that back. I'm finally going to invite him here. I
think there's finally room in my life for my memories of you and some new
memories too. He'll never replace you Walter. I'll always wish we had had
the chance to grow old together. I love you."



The stars didn't answer, but John felt warm inside. His love for Walter and
his love for Kyle blended together into a decadent feeling of happiness that
he

hadn't felt in a long time. He'd needed Walter's blessing, and somehow he
felt that he now had it. Leave it to Walter to reach out from the great
beyond and make things okay for him, just as he'd always done. He wasn't
letting go, but he was ready to move forward.





John rose Saturday morning feeling like something amazing had happened to
him. He was so happy he couldn't contain it. He went to the deli and bought
bagels and croissants and fruit and lox and showed up on Dana and Mulder's
doorstep at 8 A.M. Dana opened the door and grinned to see John looking so
happy and relaxed.



"I come bearing food!" he exclaimed. "anyone hungry?"



"Definitely, we just woke up. Mulder went for a jog, he'll be back soon.
Come on in."



John set the bags down in the kitchen. "Where's my princess?"



"Still sleeping, thank god. She only woke up three times last night, it's a
new record." Dana replied as she spread cream cheese on a bagel and sat down
at the kitchen table. "John, there's something I need to talk to you about.
Sit down."



John finished adding sugar to his coffee and sat down at the kitchen table
with her. Dana's blue eyes were serious, but she had a mysterious half-smile
on her face. She looked almost embarrassed. "What's up, Dana?"



"John, this is really hard for me to ask, and I feel terrible brining it up
after yesterday, but it's important." She took a deep breath and sipped her
coffee. "I got my period yesterday."



If she had a point it flew right over John's head. "Yeah, and...?"



"John, you're a doctor. Think about it. I hadn't had a period since my
abduction until I started yesterday. It means there is a possibility I'm
still fertile."



"Dana, that's great."



"Well, there's a little more to it than that. Julie thinks that the
alterations in Mulder's DNA trigger the telepathic abilities the aliens
control in his brain. Preliminary results show that the same DNA mutations
in lab animals have profound affects on brain function in the temporal lobe
and cause the serotonin

and dopamine levels to skyrocket. So even if we had Mulder's vasectomy
reversed, we couldn't get pregnant together."



"Mulder had a vasectomy?"



She nodded, biting her lip. "Yeah, right after he was brought back and found
out his DNA had been mutated. But I don't know how long I'll remain fertile,
John, so time is of the essence here."



"What is it you want me to do, Dana? I've never performed an IUI before, but
I could study up on it and be ready to try when your next luteal phase comes
around."



She lowered her eyes. "John, we want you to be the sperm donor."



John was speechless. He simply couldn't wrap his brain around the words
she'd just spoken.



"I know it's a lot to ask. But we want another child, and I don't know if
I'll continue to ovulate or not. We want to try during my next cycle. My
periods might be irregular because I'm nursing, so I bought an ovulation
testing kit. We both feel really strongly that you are the only person we
could ask to do this. There's no one else we trust enough or care enough
about to ask." She looked

back up at him, her expression earnest. Her eyes showed her yearning. "I can
tell I've made you very uncomfortable. It's a difficult position I've put
you in. It's okay that you don't want to do it. I understand."



He took her hand. "Dana, I'm not saying no. Actually, I thought about a lot
of things last night, and came to a lot of conclusions. I realized how much
a part of my life Kyle has become, and I think our relationship has advanced
to the

point that he has some say so in what I do with my sperm. When he gets back
from L.A. I'll talk to him about it."



She nodded. "Julie thinks we could do the IUI there in her lab in we can get
our hands on some neonatal Foley catheters, they should be small enough."



"I think a preemie NG tube would be better. I'll try to scare some up from
the hospital, if I can come up with a reason to be in the NICU supply room.
We don't keep them in the ER." He took a bite of his bagel and sipped his
coffee.



She couldn't hide her relief. "Thank you John. You don't know how much this
means to both of us. We love Moira so much. I wish with all my heart that
Mulder and I could have another child that was biologically ours, but it
would be dangerous for all of us. It just can't be. Moira is our miracle
baby."



"How does Mulder feel about this?"



"He was adamant that you were the only one. And he doesn't care that he
won't be the biological father, he's just excited about the idea of actually
getting to be here for my pregnancy."



They sat together quietly, eating and absorbing the gravity of their
conversation. After a while Mulder came in, bouncing noisily into the room.



"Cool, breakfast. Did you bring orange juice too Carter?" Mulder asked,
snagging a bagel and biting off half of it in a single bite.



"In the fridge, Mulder. We've just been discussing impregnating your wife."
He deadpanned.



He thought for a second Mulder was going to drop the carton of juice. His
mouth hung open for a second before he snapped it shut. "Yes, and... are you
gonna do it?"



"Well, I feel like I've reached a point in my life where Kyle has some say
so in this too, but if he's okay with it then I am. I'll discuss it with
Julie. If we can get a hold of some IM progesterone we can increase the
chances of success pretty substantially."



Mulder gave him a leering smile. "You make it all sound so clinical, Carter.
I thought we'd just have a bottle of tequila and a mnage a trios."



John threw a bagel and hit Mulder in the shoulder. "You are such an ass. I
don't know how Dana puts up with you."



"I have a ten inch penis and know the Kama Sutra front to back." He said as
he sidestepped another bagel, this one thrown by his wife. With a grin he
left the room, taking the carton of orange juice with him.



"Don't drink out of the carton Mulder!" Dana called after him, knowing he
would do it anyway.





John discovered in the following days just how strong his feelings for Kyle
had become. He missed him more than he thought was possible. He even tried
his hand at a couple of what he hoped were passionate sounding love letters
just to occupy his time. Several times he sat out on the balcony and talked
to Walter. He had no grave, no permanent place of rest, so John decided to
talk to the stars. He found the one sided conversations strangely
comforting.



He was at the lab with Julie cleaning out the rat cages when a tall slender
man with piercing blue eyes who looked to be in his late forties walked into
the room. Julie broke into a huge grin and ran to be swept into his embrace.



"Mike!" She exclaimed, hugging him tightly. John thought they looked cute
together; her blond head barely came to Mike Donovan's shoulders.



Finally she pulled away and turned towards John. "Mike Donovan, this is Dr.
John Carter."



John shook his hand. "I've heard a lot about you Mike, it's nice to finally
meet you."



Mike smiled. "And you're all I've heard about from Los Angeles to here. Kyle
definitely has a one track mind these days."



"Where is he?" John asked as he washed the rat shit off his hands.



"Outside unloading his new toy. He bought a motorcycle to replace the one he
wrecked in Denver about 8 months ago."



"I think I'll go check it out. It was nice to finally meet you, Mike. I'm
sure you and Julie have a lot of catching up to do."



Julie gave him a wide grin as he headed out the door.



John found Kyle outside coaxing a huge Harley Davidson fatboy off the tow
rig it was attached to. Kyle grinned like a little boy when he saw John.
"Wanna go for a ride, Dr. Carter?"



"Hell no. Do you know how many head traumas I've treated from these damned
things? There's a reason Bruce Springsteen calls them suicide machines.
Remember Gary Busey, the head case formerly known as a talented actor?"



Kyle laughed. "Fine, fine, you live your comfortable secure life while I
feel the wind on my face and the open road under my feet."



"If I want that I'll go for a walk." John replied, tugging playfully at
Kyle's jacket. "Are you so in love with your new toy that you aren't even
going to tell me you missed me?"



Kyle's playful smiled softened. "I missed you like crazy. I can't wait to
show you exactly how much I missed you. All I've been able to think about is
how much I miss sleeping with you next to me."



"Well why don't you come spend the night at my place and we'll rectify that?
We'll have a nice dinner, rent a movie, have a good old fashioned date."



"Are you sure John?"



"Yes, I'm sure. I realized how much I miss sleeping next to you too."



Kyle put his hand on John's cheek, emotion darkening his brown eyes. "I know
how hard this is for you. It means a lot to me that you're willing to let me
this far into your life."



"You're already that important in my life, it just took me a while to
realize it." John kissed him quickly. "I have to go. I'm keeping Moira while
Mulder and Dana go investigate a case. I'll give you a call in a couple of
hours and we can make plans for tonight."



"Okay, see you later. I'm gonna go take my suicide machine out for a spin."



"Wear a helmet." John said as he climbed in his car.







Two hours later Mulder and Scully were investigating the crime scene of what
appeared to be a cult-related ritual murder. Mulder didn't have a clue what
Doggett thought this had to do with the Xfiles or why the hell he kept
sending them on these shitty assignments. He secretly believed Doggett was
trying to bore them into leaving the bureau. While Scully took pictures of
the body Mulder thought of all the things he could do to screw up Doggett's
pride and joy-his Ford pickup. Maybe some sugar in the gas tank...



His musings were cut short by the sound of his cell phone. "Mulder here." He
answered.



"Mulder, I see you couldn't talk the wife into staying home and playing
mommy. Had to get Skinner's boyfriend to do the nanny thing, huh?" The voice
on the other end belonged to Alex Krycek.



"Are you watching my fucking house, you smarmy bastard? John has a gun and
would not hesitate to use it on your sorry ass." He snarled, but fear was
creeping up his spine.



"Relax, Mulder. I come in peace. Thought you might like to know those DOD
documents you got were fake. The boys in the defense department do whatever
the hell our visitors tell them to. Skinner's alive, buddy boy."



"Fuck off, Krycek. You're not only a dickhead you're a liar to boot."



"Think so? Check out the John Doe that was admitted to Kaiser Permanente in
Bellefleur Oregon this morning. Or at least what's left of him. Don't worry,
I don't want to change your kid's shitty diapers. That's what you've got the
pansy for." He snorted in laughter at his own joke before the line went
dead.



Scully was still engrossed in her work. Mulder quietly went to the car and
sat down in the drivers seat. A phone call to Kaiser confirmed they had a
John Doe in his late forties to early fifties that fit Walter's description.
He was comatose after being hit by a car while wandering down a private one
lane dirt road on a farm not far from where Mulder had been abducted.



Mulder climbed out of the car and went to where Scully was hunched over the
body. "Scully, we've gotta get out of here. Skinner's alive."



Scully turned to face her husband, her eyes growing huge. "But how?" the
question trailed off.



"I don't know. Our buddy Krycek gave me a tip about a John Doe in damned
Bellefleur and it checked out. We have to do this without telling John until
we see him for ourselves. How are we going to pull this off?"



Scully quickly finished her work and left the body in the care of the
coroner. They drove to a caf to discuss how they would get out of town
without raising the suspicions of John and the FBI. Scully placed a call to
her mother and arranged for her to lie to John and tell them they had to go
out of town right away to investigate a lead on their current case and that
Margaret was taking the baby home with her. She told her mother the truth,
but extracted her promise not to tell John or anyone else. Kersh and Doggett
they would deal with when they got home.



By the time they arrived home Margaret had sent John away and was packing up
the baby's things. Scully packed a cooler with frozen breastmilk and nursed
the baby before giving her hesitantly to her mother. Even the hope that
Walter Skinner was alive didn't diminish her loathing of leaving her tiny
daughter overnight. When Margaret left with Moira Scully packed their bags
while Mulder made flight arrangements.



By early evening they were on a plane to Bellefleur.



"What they hell is it the aliens have about Oregon?" Mulder asked his wife
rhetorically. "All Oregon has going for it is nice weather and trees."



"I don't know." She replied. "But if I never see the damned Portland airport
again it would be too soon. And I don't care what happens, you aren't going
anywhere near the woods, got it?"



He smirked, trying to hide his nervousness. "Trust me Scully, I have no
desire to re enact my last experience in Oregon. It's true that curiosity
kills the cat, or at least permanently fucks with his DNA and his brain."



They rented a car at the airport and began the long drive to Bellefleur. The
closer they came to the site where Mulder had nearly been lost forever the
more their tension grew. Mulder cracked sunflower seeds and threw them in
the ashtray while Scully drove. Mulder had forgotten his glasses again and
long periods in a pitch black cell on the alien ship had left him with night
vision problems.



"So do you think it's really him?" She finally asked, breaking the silence
in the car.



Mulder shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know what game Krycek is playing
this week or who's side he's on. I know Ham Tyler knows him and the gunmen
might have been able to get some information, but if we wanted to keep this
from John and Kyle I didn't think it was a good idea to call them. Tyler's
loyalty is to Kyle, and I'm pretty sure he would have told him everything
and Kyle would have been on the next plane after us."



"What do you think is going to happen to Kyle and John?"



"Scully, you know as well as I do that John is going to be at Walter's side
the minute he gets the news, if this John Doe is even Walter. There's too
many unanswered questions here to begin speculating."



She gave a short laugh. "What? Please, Mulder. You've usually got a theory
before you even read the case file. Don't give me any crap about premature
speculation."



He sobered. "This is different. This affects the life of just about
everybody in the world I care about. I know I haven't talked about it much,
but accepting that Skinner was dead wasn't easy for me either. I cared about
and respected him, and he was so good to you while I was gone. He didn't
give up on me, and I felt guilty for giving up on him. I want this to be
true too much to have any hope until I see him with my own eyes."



Scully eyed him carefully for a moment as he stared out the window into the
darkness. His abduction and the experiences he only remembered in nightmares
had indeed changed him. He could run off at the mouth for hours about
intellectual matters that interested him, but when it came to his emotions
he was the epitome of the expression "still waters run deep." He didn't talk
about his feelings much, but his ability to have feel had widened like a
river rushing out to sea. Respect and admiration had turned to love and
friendship. Love and passion had turned into almost a sacrament for him.
Scully was eternally grateful she and Moira were on the receiving end of the
man Mulder had become. The love she'd felt for him before his abduction had
only been the tip of the iceberg when they had finally been able to let that
love grow into the family they were now. Sometimes she looked at him and
Moira and was in awe that they were hers.



After a couple of hours her breasts felt heavy with milk and she woke her
now dozing husband. "Mulder, we need to stop so I can pump. Are you hungry?"



Mulder yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Not really, but I could go for a piece
of pie and a cup of coffee."



They found an all night diner off the interstate and Scully sat in the back
seat of the car with the breastpump, regretting as she watched the bottles
fill that she would have to dump the milk out for lack of a way to store it.
When she was done they went inside and ordered coffee and a bowl of soup for
her and two pieces of chocolate crme pie for Mulder. After she was done
eating she asked him.



"What happens if Walter's injuries are serious? What if he never comes out
of the coma?"



"I don't even want to think about that possibility. I know he has a living
will, but it will be up to John as his power of attorney to execute it. And
since he's legally dead anyway, it might not hold up. John will spend the
rest of his life taking care of him and hating himself for the last couple
of months."



She sighed. "John is his own worst enemy. He's one of the most guilt ridden
people I've ever met."



"Yeah, but he's ours. We're stuck with him, basket case or not." Mulder felt
obligated to take care of John the way Skinner had taken care of Scully in
his absence, and frankly John needed it more than Scully ever had. He wasn't
a weak man, but he was easily overcome by his emotions and was such an
overachiever he never forgave himself for a perceived failure. Trying to
convince John Carter something wasn't his fault once he'd decided it was
could be a fruitless endeavor; about as fruitless as unthawing an iceberg
with a hair dryer.



They arrived at Kaiser Permanente Hospital sometime after midnight. After
flashing their badges and Scully's AMA membership card numerous times to
various doctors and local police they were finally admitted to the ICU.



Mulder felt that the air had been punched from his lungs. The man in the bed
was emaciated and seemed to have aged ten years, but was unmistakably Walter
Skinner. He felt Scully squeeze his hand as they watched the rhythm of the
respirator causing the jerky rise and fall of his chest. Scully fell into a
chair next to the bed, engrossed in his medical chart.



"Oh, Mulder," she sighed, wiping away a single stray tear.



"What?" he asked tightly, trying hard to control his own emotions. Walter
was covered in scars and bruises, one leg in a cast from hip to toe. He
wondered if perhaps they shouldn't have brought John after all in case this
was the last time he got to see Walter alive.



"His CT scan showed the same brainwave activity as yours when you were under
the alien's control. Even in the coma. They had to remove his spleen and
repair a rupture to his liver. He's severely dehydrated and on dialysis for
kidney failure due to extended periods of ketosis. At least the MRI only
showed some fluid in the cranium, no blood, so the steroids they are giving
him should relieve the swelling and not cause any permanent brain damage.
His leg is broken in three places but thank God there's no damage to the
spine."



"Ketosis, that's protein in the urine that blocks the kidneys, right? So he
was starving basically. His body was breaking down his muscles for fuel."



She nodded silently, taking Walter's hand. "Walter, it's Dana. I know you
can hear me. I'm going to talk to the doctors and get them to put you on
Dilantin to stop the noise in your head. Mulder and I are here and we're
going to take care of you."



She stood and went to her husband, whispering in his ear. "He might be able
to read everything you are thinking, so try to think calm relaxing thoughts.
Keep talking to him, he can definitely hear everything you say. I'm going to
find the doctor."



She found the attending physician and talked him into prescribing Depakote
and Dilantin to slow the activity in the temporal lobe in Walter's brain,
explaining to him what had happened to Mulder and leaving out the part that
the condition was induced by alien experimentation. One never knew these
days if an individual would despise the aliens or view them as the
harbingers of all that was good and right on the earth.



By dawn things were improving. A second CAT scan showed that Walter's brain
was functioning within near-normal patterns and his blood pressure and pulse
oxygen were good. The respiratory was turned down and Walter was breathing
on his own periodically between the machine pushing air into his lungs. A
preliminary tested showed that his pulse oxygen went too low when he
breathed on his own to remove the respiratory completely.



Mulder and Scully knew they were operating on borrowed time. Since they had
positively identified Skinner it wouldn't be long before Doggett would show
up, and if Walter was still in a coma it would be far too easy for him to
disappear again. They grudgingly decided it was safer for Walter if everyone
knew he was alive. It would be a bit harder for him to be spirited off by
the FBI or the aliens if they had the cavalry behind them.



Mulder went into the waiting room and punched in the number to John's
townhouse. A sleepy sounding Kyle Bates answered the phone.



"Kyle, it's Mulder. I need to talk to John."



"Hey Mulder. He's in the shower. He has to be at work in forty-five
minutes."



"Can you get him out? It's urgent."



"Okay, hang on."



A minute or two later John picked up the phone. "Mulder, what's up? Is
something wrong?"



"John, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just gonna lay it out.
Walter's alive. He showed up yesterday as a John Doe in a hospital in
Bellefleur Oregon. He's stable, but he was hit by a car and he's in a coma."



The only sound on the other end of the line was heavy rapid breathing.
Mulder wondered if John was having a panic attack. After a long moment he
asked. "John, are you there, are you okay?"



"Yeah, what hospital is he in? I'll fly out of here as soon as I can get a
flight. I'll leave for the airport now."



"He's at Kaiser Permanente in Bellefleur. John, I know this is hard but
we're concerned that too many people might want him to disappear again, so
you need to tell as many people as possible that he's alive. The more people
that know the better."



"Okay, fine, let me go so I can get out of here. I'll call you as soon as I
land. Mulder, if he wakes up make sure you tell him I'm on my way."



"I will John, be careful." He hung up to make his next call to his mother in
law.







John hung up the phone but didn't move. He felt Kyle's eyes boring into him,
but couldn't bring himself to turn around and face the man he'd spent the
night with. The man that up until ten minutes ago he'd been trying to muster
the nerve to tell him he loved him.



"John, what's wrong?" Kyle finally asked softly.



John still couldn't turn around. "Walter's alive. Mulder found him in
Oregon. He's in a coma. I have to go, Kyle."



Kyle took him by the arm and gently spun him around. "I'm coming with you."
He said decisively, his eyes locked with John's.



"No, that's not a good idea." John pulled away and reached into a dresser
drawer for his underwear and socks.



Kyle grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him to face him again, more
forcefully this time. "God dammit John, turn around and talk to me! I know
you have to go. I'm not going to run into the man's goddamn hospital room
and tell him we're together. I know if he's alive you and I are finished.
I'm going as your friend because I fucking love you and if I have to lose
you I at least want to see you have your happy ending, okay? So I'm going,
whether I go with you or not. We can go together and I can hold your hand on
the plane and drive you to the hospital or we can say goodbye on bad terms,
which I don't want." His voice softened, and he stroked John's arm. "John, I
love you. I know you don't feel the same way about me as you do him. I'm
know I'm gonna lose here. Please, let's end this the right way so we can
still be friends. Our lives are too entwined now to just walk away from each
other, so let me show you that I can still be your friend if I can't be your
lover. I won't ever tell Walter what's happened between us. If you want to,
that's fine, and if not, he'll never hear it from me. I swear it to you."



It hurt John to see the pain in Kyle's eyes. He did love Kyle, but there was
no question in his mind or heart that he belonged with Walter and always
would. He thought of what Mulder had said and realized that the more people
who saw Walter alive the better. He owed Kyle the few hours he was asking
for. He owed him telling him how much he cared for him and how much the last
couple of months had meant to him. Kyle had saved him, and he owed him more
than he could ever repay. Finally he nodded in agreement.



"Okay, but you'll have to wear some of my clothes. We're leaving now."



Within an hour John and Kyle were standing in line to purchase their
tickets. To their surprise Robin Maxwell, Mike Donovan and Julie Parish came
rushing through the revolving door, bags in hand.



"What are you guys doing?" John asked.



"We're coming with you." Julie explained. "Mulder said that the more
physical witnesses that Mr. Skinner is alive the better, so here we are. Ham
couldn't come. He's busy making sure Assistant Director Doggett has
unexpected car trouble if he tries to leave for the airport. Mulder's
friends, those guys that call themselves the Gunmen, are on the next flight.
They're trying to ummm, fix Agent Doggett's credit card so he has a hard
time buying a ticket." She said with a smile.



"Good God what a circus." John said, handing his credit card and driver's
license to the ticket clerk. He paid for all five tickets on his card to
keep the paper trail to a minimum. The fake Ids the Gunmen had created for
the others got them boarding passes with no complications, and finally they
were at the gate with twenty minutes til boarding time.



John was so nervous he couldn't sit still. He would have started walking
right now if he thought it would get him to Oregon any faster. He had to see
for himself that Walter was safe. Or at least alive, safe being such a
relative term at this point. John decided the first thing he would do when
he got home was learn how to use a gun. Nothing was ever going to happen to
Walter again as long as John was alive to stop it. He looked over and where
Kyle sat with Robin Maxwell, their brunette heads bent together in quiet
conversation. He felt a pang of guilt. He hadn't meant to hurt Kyle. He
wished there were enough words in the world to make this right, but John
couldn't escape the fact that he'd caused Kyle pain. Kyle had loved him when
he needed it and John was turning his back on him. What an asshole he was.
He never should have walked out of that bar with Kyle, then he wouldn't be
standing there staring at a man who's heart he'd just broken.



When they boarded Julie Parish and Mike Donovan sat next to John, Robin
protectively steering Kyle into the row of seats behind them. John supposed
she must hate him for this. John ordered a scotch and Julie intercepted it,
handing it back to the flight attendant. "Mulder told me not to let you
drink." She explained, looking apologetic. "I'm just following orders."



John groaned. "Just for the record, I wasn't a drunk, I was addicted to
opiate based pharmaceuticals. And I've been clean for almost a year."



"I don't care, Mulder's meaner than you are and he has a gun. Besides, you
don't really want to see Walter drunk do you?"



"John, it's going to be okay." Mike interjected. "It's a short flight. Just
hang tight."



Tight was the right word to describe John's nerves. One could have plucked
them like the strings of a violin by the time the plane landed. They rented
two cars at the airport and headed towards Bellefleur, John, Julie and Kyle
in one car at Kyle's insistence and Robin and Mike following in the second
car.



Kyle drove, leaving John to stare at the long two lane highway separating
him from Walter. Just a few more hours he told himself.





Around 11 A.M. Walter Skinner's eyes flew open and he sat up, yanking the
tube out of his throat with one swift motion, pulling it roughly across his
gag reflex and causing himself to vomit in the process. The green bile
spread across the white sheets as a fit of coughing skyrocketed his blood
pressure.



Dana Scully bolted upright from her sleep in the chair next to the bed as
the alarm on the ventilator went off. She deftly rose and hit the call
button while reaching for the emesis basin as Walter continued to empty the
contents of his stomach. The nurse hurried in and she and Scully stripped
the sodden sheets from the bed.



"Water, please." Walter croaked with what was left of his voice.



Scully poured him a cup while the nurse took his pulse. His hands shook so
badly that she had to hold the cup to his lips. He took several small sips
before Scully took the cup away. "Not too much at one time or you'll vomit
again."



"Do you know your name?" she asked him, beginning a cursory neurological
exam.



"Walter Skinner. Where am I?" He leaned back against the pillows, he
strength gone.



"You're in a hospital in Oregon. It's April 11th 2001, you've been missing
since November 18th of 2000."



"Bounty Hunters. They looked like John and Mulder. Hit me over the head with
something. I don't remember anything after that. What's wrong with my leg?
Where is John? Did you find Agent Mulder? The baby, is it alright?"



Scully's relief felt like a weight being lifted from her chest. He was okay.

"John is on the way, Mulder has been home since December of last year, I had
a perfectly healthy baby girl who we name Moira Margaret Mulder, and your
leg is broken in several places. You were hit by a car on a farm not far
from where Mulder was taken."



"Scully, I finally got the Gunmen on the phone..." Mulder said as he walked
into the small room. He trailed off when he saw Walter awake.



"Mulder. Thank God you're alive." The man tried to smile but it was more
effort than he could muster.



"I could say the same thing about you, Sir. Though legally you're dead. The
Bureau just closed your case last month. I'm glad to hear that the rumors of
your death have been greatly exaggerated." Mulder smiled and hugged the
older man, feeling how bony and weakened the body in his arms was.



The nurse returned with the doctor and clean bedding. "You folks are going
to have to wait outside while I examine Mr. Skinner." Dr. Andrews said.



Scully leaned down and kissed his cheek. "We'll be right outside."



Skinner held onto her hand. "You said John is coming?"



"Yes, he'll be here in a few hours."



Skinner let go of her hand and she followed Mulder to the waiting room.



"The whole damn crew decided to come, lock stock and poor Kyle too. The
Gunmen go the flight after John's and will be here around five this evening.
Ham Tyler escorted your mother back to her house with the baby. He's staying
there with her at his insistence. Brought in some friend of his named Chris
Faber to watch the lab, and apparently this guy knows Krycek and knows too
keep an eye out for him." Mulder stopped to sip his sixth cup of coffee of
the morning. So everything is under control except for whether or not
Skinner is going to take one look at John and know everything that's
happened in the last few months."



"Well, not everything is under control. What about Doggett and Kersh? And
where is Krycek? We have to get Walter somewhere safe as soon as possible.
He needs around the clock protection. I think the smartest thing to do is
send him to the warehouse. We have medical facilities there and Tyler to
blow away anything or anyone that looks suspicious."



"Doggett hasn't made it out of DC yet thanks to Tyler and the Gunmen. Tyler
torched his trucked and the Gunmen somehow managed doctor his credit card
account so it looked like all his cards were maxed. I'm sure he'll make it
here sometime today. I agree that Skinner needs protection, but I don't
think it would working having him live in the same place as Kyle. There's
only so much we can ask the guy to take."



"True, but I think he'd take it if he knew Walter's life was at stake."



Losing Everything Part 6



When they arrived at the hospital John Carter was so

anxious he couldn't even wait for the elevator. He took the

stairs two at a time to the Intensive Care Unit on the

third floor, leaving his four companions downstairs. A

quick look at the board on the wall of the nurse's station

told him Walter's room number. He tried to slow down and

compose himself for a moment, taking a couple of deep

breaths before entering the room.



Walter was sleeping. He was so thin and bruised and

battered that John's heart leapt into his throat. But he

was alive; that was all that mattered. His 02 sats were 97

percent on room air and his pulse was normal. He had a

drainage tube in his abdomen from where his spleen had been

removed, but the drainage wasn't excessive. He would heal

and be well again.



John approached the bed and bent to press a gentle kiss to

Walter's forehead. It felt unreal to be touching him again

when John had lost hope that he would ever be seen alive

again. But he was here, warm and alive under John's hands,

and John would make sure he stayed that way.



Walter's eyes fluttered open, and a faint smile came to his

parched lips when he saw John. "Oh John Carter." He sighed,

finally at peace.



Never just John. Always John Carter. Ever since their first night together,
Walter had claimed it suited him and had continued to call him that ever
since. It was music to John's ears. "I'm here, Walter, and I'm not going
anywhere. Just relax and rest. Everything's going to be fine." John assured
him,

kissing the knuckles of one large bruised hand.



"Yes," Walter agreed, sleep overtaking him again. "Now that

you're here, everything is fine. Love you."



"I love you too." John kissed him again, but he was already

asleep.



Dana came quietly into the room. The look on John's face

made all the danger they were in worth it.



"John, we need to talk. Want to come to the waiting room?"



John smoothed out Walter's blankets and brushed his hand

against the man's cheek before following Dana out of the

room.



There were seven of them in the small room. With the

exception of baby Moira, the entirety of John's life was in

that room.



"John, Doggett has left DC and is on his way here. He knows

that Mulder and I left him out of the loop. I'm pretty sure

that Mulder and I can kiss out jobs goodbye. Not that I

really care at this point. But you and Walter can't go back

to the townhouse. Walter needs around the clock security. I

think the best thing is for the two of you to go to the

warehouse. Mulder and I are thinking it might be a good

idea for us to lay low there ourselves for a while. I

wouldn't put it past Doggett to try and have us arrested

for interfering with an investigation or obstruction of

justice."



John looked over at Kyle and found the man's expression

unreadable. He couldn't possibly ask Kyle to deal with John

and Walter living right under his nose.



"So what's your plan? Walter's in no condition to be moved.

They aren't going to let him out of the ICU for a couple of

days, even if they have stopped the dialysis. I know I

wouldn't."



"Well, the Gunmen had a pretty good idea. You have Walter's

power of attorney. You could request that he be moved to

the hospital in Portland by ambulance and the Gunmen will

hijack the ambulance at a predetermined location. They

won't hurt the EMTs, just tie them up and lock them in the

bathroom. There's a gas station about 50 miles down the

road that has those cement bunker-looking bathrooms that

are separate from the main building. A bit further down the

road we'll switch to a cargo van that Ham has arranged to

have waiting for us. We can pull this off. We have to, or

something even worse is going to happen to Walter."



Kyle approached him. "John, can I talk to you privately for

a minute?"



"Sure, why don't you come downstairs with me so I can smoke

a cigarette?"



Kyle wrinkled his nose but nodded his head. They rode

silently down the elevator and Kyle didn't speak until John

had lit a cigarette and taken a deep drag from it.



"John, I know what you're thinking and I want you to know

I'm okay with this. As okay as I can be. I'm not going to

lie and say it won't be hard, but a man's life is at stake

and I couldn't live with myself if I put my personal

feelings above that."



John sighed, gesturing for Kyle to sit down on the bench

next to him. He slipped his free hand into Kyle's. "Kyle, I

care so much about you. I never meant to hurt you. I never

would have gotten involved with you if I had thought there

was any chance Walter was still alive. Not because I regret

the time we've spent together, but because I wouldn't have

risked hurting you for the world. I was falling in love

with you, Kyle. But Walter...he's my spouse. He's the person

I was meant to spend my life with. But I can't thank you

enough for being there when I needed someone. You saved me

from myself."



Kyle looked him, his face sad but resigned. "I know all

this John, I really do. Your face, your eyes...they're an

open book. You think you're good at hiding your emotions,

but you're really not. I knew you weren't over him, but I

took that risk willingly. I don't regret our time together

either. And once we've both had some time to deal with our

feelings I know we'll still be friends. I liked you charm

and your sense of humor as much as your body and your

heart, and I hope you're still willing to share those with

me as a friend. I'm a big boy, I've had my heart broken

before. And at least you're alive and happy. It hurts, but

it's nothing compared to losing Elizabeth. Nothing could

ever hurt like that, and if I lived through that I'll live

through this."



John squeezed his hand. "I don't deserve to have people as

wonderful as you in my life. I'm grateful to have met

you, Kyle Bates. You're an outstanding human being."



Kyle chuckled humorlessly. "No I'm not, I just know a losing battle when I
see one. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, and I know that your
happiness is with Walter." He pulled his hand from John's, a final act of
letting go. "So, it's decided. You and

Walter will come stay with us at least until he's well.

Depending on what happens with A.D. Doggett we might have

Mulder, Dana and Moira with us too. Looks like we're going

for a full house." He gave a small smile, "C'mon Medicine

Man, I know you want to get back up to Walter."



All eyes were on them when they returned to the waiting

room. John turned to Mulder. "Kyle and I talked. We agree

that your plan is our best option. So go for it. Just let

me know what I need to do."



"Well, Doggett will be on the ground in Oregon by 7P.M. So

we need to get started now on the hospital transfer. Tyler

can have the van arranged within an hour or so, so that

part's okay. John, you know that if Scully and I are

arrested that you are to have Tyler get Maggie and Moira

out of the country, right? Moira's fake passport is taped

in an envelope to the bottom of the dresser in our

bedroom."



If John had not fully comprehended the gravity of the

situation, he did now. He nodded somberly. "You know I'll

look out for your family like they were my own, Mulder."



Mulder put his hand on John's shoulder and gave it a

squeeze. "I'm counting on it."



A nurse came into the room, eyeing with curiosity the

exhausted disheveled bunch. "Whichever one of you is Dr.

Carter, Mr. Skinner is awake and asking for you. And

there's also a Director Kersh from the FBI on the phone for

an Agent Mulder. You can pick up the courtesy phone right

there and press the button marked line three."



John followed the nurse back to Walter's room and Mulder

picked up the phone. "Mulder here."



"Agent Mulder," Kersh's tone was low and lethal. "you have

never known trouble like you are in right now. I've got

enough charges here to put you and Agent Scully in a

federal prison for a very long time. Should I even bother

to tell you how many bureau protocols you've breached,

broken, and outright disregarded?"



Mulder tried to keep his tone light, but his voice was

tight. "No, Sir. Don't bother. I wasn't acting on behalf of

the bureau, I was acting as a private citizen who found out

that his former boss and friend was alive. What I do on my

own time is my own business."



"Don't bullshit me Mulder. Agent Doggett is on his way

there now, and the Portland field office is going to bring

you and Agent Scully into custody when they arrive. Make it

a bit easier on yourself and surrender. If you do as you're

asked and don't make any more trouble I'll consider

dropping the charges against Agent Scully."



"That's really considerate of you, Sir. Tell the boys from

the Portland office they can find me in the third floor

waiting room. And tell Doggett I said hello. Goodbye, Sir."

He hung up the phone and turned to his wife. "We're in deep

shit. Kersh is out for blood. I'll call Tyler and have his

friend get your mom and the baby to the warehouse while you

go get that patient transfer started."





Skinner smiled weakly when John entered the room. John sat

in the chair Scully had occupied the night before, taking

Walter's hand, careful not to disrupt the IV line. He could

see from the marks on the back of Walter's hand it had

taken them several attempts to get an IV in his collapsed

veins.



"Walter, you're in danger here. Mulder and Scully are

making arrangements to have you moved to a safe place. It's

not gonna be a pleasant trip, but I'll be there the whole

way. I got a full time job at Georgetown a few weeks ago,

so I've been living in the townhouse full time."



Walter licked his cracked lips, trying to sit upright in

the bed. His arms were too weak to leverage himself up, so

John stood to help him get settled more comfortably. With

John hovering over him, Walter caught his gaze and asked

him. "John Carter, the young man in the waiting room, are

you in love with him?"



John felt like he'd been punched in the gut. So the

telepathic ability hadn't been completely restrained by the

meds. He searched Walter's face for some sign of anger, but

saw only the strains of physical pain. "I care about him.

He was there for me when I thought I had lost you and I'm

very grateful to him for that. But it's over. It never

would have happened if I had believed for a minute you were

still alive. I'm sorry I didn't have more faith in you.

Please don't hate me."



"Oh, John, you idiot. I don't hate you. Maybe I hate

the idea that someone else touched you...loved you. But I

don't blame you. There were times when I was convinced I

was dead. But I couldn't hate you no matter what you did. I

love you. I know I haven't always been able to say that

when you needed to hear it, but it's true." Walter took his

hand and ran his finger over the wedding band John had yet

to remove. "I'd like to call you my husband, John Carter. I

would be proud to call you that."



John's eyes misted up with relief and happiness. "Nothing

would make me happier. But first we have to talk about

what's going to happen over the next few days."



John outlined the plan that had been concocted to get him

out of Oregon before John Doggett arrived. Walter's only

reaction was "I can't believe they gave that little pissant

my job."



John laughed. "Walter Skinner, you aren't going back to the

goddamn FBI if I have to tie you up and keep you in a

closet to stop you."



Dr. Andrews came into the room. "Mr. Skinner, it's my

understanding that you wish to be transferred to the

University of Portland Medical Center. I have to let you

know that we can't keep you against your will, but I'm

going to note in your chart that you are leaving against

medical advice. Your condition has barely been stabilized, and I'd

recommend keeping you in the ICU for a while longer."



Walter shook his head, trying to make up a plausible story

despite the morphine that kept him from thinking clearly.

"No, my partner, Dr. Carter, has admitting privileges at

UPMC and I would be more comfortable having my spouse as my

personal physician."



Dr. Andrews blushed a deep shade of scarlet. "Oh, I

understand. That's fine. You'll need to sign these forms.

The discharge coordinator is arranging for an ambulance to

transport you."



Walter signed the necessary documents and leaned back

against the pillows, mouthing the word "homophobe" to John

as Dr. Andrews left the room.



John shrugged. "Yeah, well, for once it's working to our

advantage. Now he's in a hurry to get rid of us." He kissed

Walter lightly on the forehead. "Get some rest. I need to

go confer with the Motley Crew in the waiting room and find

out what happens next."



"Who are all those people anyway?"



John grinned. "They're our family, for lack of a better

word. Don't worry, you'll like them."





4 P.M.



The ambulance technicians were more than a little

intimidated to discover there were three MDs arguing over

who would ride with the patient to Portland. It was finally

decided that Dana would ride with John and Walter. Mulder

would follow the ambulance in the car with Mike, Julie, and

Robin. The second rental car was left in the parking lot of

the hospital. The Gunmen were waiting at the BP station 53

miles from the hospital with the cargo van Tyler had

arranged for them to pick up from a junkyard in Eugene that

was actually a front for stripping down stolen cars.





The ride was uneventful. Walter's vitals remained stable

and his slept through most of the ride. While the

technicians were busy in the front Scully began quietly

plundering their medical supplies and stowing anything of

use in her black leather duffel bag. She threw her clothing

in the biohazard material waste bin to make room for the

bags of IV fluids and wound dressings she hoped they

wouldn't need. She grabbed NG tubes in case Walter couldn't

take anything by mouth. She didn't know how long they would

have to vacate the ambulance when they reached the gas

station and she wanted to be prepared for anything that

might come up. The last thing she wedged into her bag was

an intubation kit and an ambu bag. John looked at her and

she shrugged. "Just in case." She said, zipping the bag

closed.



When the gas station came into sight she asked the driver

"Can we please stop here for a minute? I really have to use

the bathroom. Mr. Skinner is asleep and I won't be long."



He nodded. "Sure thing. I could stand a cup of coffee

myself."



He turned into the parking lot and Scully asked "Would you

please park of there by the bathrooms? Its freezing out

there and I don't have a jacket."



He did as she asked and parked directly in front of the

bathrooms, which were about 50 feet from the main building.

Scully climbed out of the back of the ambulance and came to

the front as John began to unfasten the gurney from the

rigging that held it attached to the bed of the ambulance.

The driver got out just as Scully reached the front. She

saw Frohike come around the side of the small concrete

building and felt a moment of fear as she wondered if the

small man could take down the ambulance driver. As Frohike

approached she reached into her purse and said "would you

mind getting me a cup of coffee too? Let me just get my

wallet." Frohike was right behind him now. With a pang of

regret and a snap of her wrist Scully sprayed the

unsuspecting man in the face with a small can of pepper

spray from her bag.



He stumbled and Frohike kneed him in the testicles,

stuffing a bandana in his mouth as the second attendant

jumped out of the van and yelled "What the fuck?"



Byers came out of nowhere and clamped a chloroform sodden

rag over the man's face. He slumped almost instantly and

Byers drug him into the bathroom.



"We'll tie them up and get rid of the bathroom keys."

Frohike said as he drug the driver towards the bathroom

door. "The keys are in the van, just go. We'll ditch the

ambulance and see ya in DC sometime soon."



Scully nodded as the bathroom door closed behind him. The

car driven by Kyle pulled up at that moment. Kyle jumped

from the front seat and opened the back van doors. "Sorry,

you didn't tell me Mulder couldn't drive in the dark. We

had to pull over so I could drive. Let's get moving."



The next five minutes were a flurry of frantic activity as

They loaded Walter from the gurney onto a mattress in the

back of the van. Someone had been considerate enough to

throw in a bean bag cushion for John to sit on. They all

piled into the van except Kyle.



"I'm going to go ahead of you guys and find some nice

wooded area to ditch this car in. I'll act like I'm

hitchhiking, so just look for me on the side of the road

after twenty or thirty miles. It won't be far enough to

keep them from putting the picture together pretty fast,

but it might buy us a little time."



Mike Donovan nodded and put the van in reverse, saying

over his shoulder. "John, you let me know if Walter gets

too uncomfortable. I'll take it as easy as I can."





Mike found Kyle about fifty miles down the road and picked

him up. After that the van drove straight through the next

12 hours with only one stop to allow everyone to use the

bathroom and rotate drivers.



They finally stopped when they reached I-80, the interstate

which made up the next thousand miles of the their cross

country trip. Mike parked the van at an RV camp and paid

for an overnight stay. He parked the van as far to the back

of the camp as possible so the RVs would obscure it from

anyone driving down the road. From under the long bench

seat in the back Mike pulled a large plastic tub which

contained a single 4 person tent, a couple of sleeping

bags, a dozen military ration packs and a case of

Powerbars.



"This is it guys." He announced. "Everybody grab what you

think you can stand to eat, though I personally recommend

avoiding the tuna casserole. Julie, Robin, Kyle and I will

take the tent. Mulder and Dana stay with Walter and John.

It's 8 A.M. We'll get back on the road at 2 P.M., so enjoy

your rest and try to get some sleep, it only gets worse

from here."



He was right. The only stops they made were to buy gas and

change drivers, and once for Scully to change Walter's IV

when his vein collapsed. Walter was still unable to eat, so

Scully had been pouring her pumped breastmilk directly into

his stomach via an NG tube. If it was good enough for Moira

it would have to suffice for him, she thought to herself.

The guys looked a little green around the gills each time

she did it, but she had to keep her supply up for Moira and

Walter needed nourishment.



They drove straight through for the next 24 hours, stopping

next at a motel that catered mostly to truckers and by the

hour clients in Colorado. John had insisted that Walter

needed to move around before he developed pneumonia and

that he needed his surgical site thoroughly cleaned. They

had all been relieved to have hot showers and real food.



"I never thought I could like pizza this much." Scully

commented as she ate, stretching her aching muscles.



John and Mulder helped Walter pace the small room a few

times, each man supporting him under one of his shoulders.

He shuffled like an old man, but his nearly atrophied

muscles screamed for the exercise. His abdominal muscles

burned painfully, but he was determined to get well. "It

shouldn't take seven people to take care of one grown man."

He growled as John climbed into the shower with him, both

of them naked, to hold him up while Mulder washed him.



"You should have seen me when I came back." Mulder

commented, washing the other man's back with a soapy

washcloth while John supported him under the armpits. "I

had to use a wheelchair at first I was so week. I don't

remember ever being allowed to move, all my memories are of

being strapped to a bed."



"I wasn't taken to an alien ship." Walter replied. "I was

drugged a lot of the time, but I know damn well I was on a

military base. There were only humans around, no aliens

that I could tell. We were four to a cell. They would

torture us for hours then send us back to our cells. All

the time there were these recordings playing of self

hypnosis techniques that the "doctors" told us would stop

the pain. Only problem is the people who actually gave in

and did it started hearing things and killing each other or

mutilating themselves, or worst of all suddenly thought the

aliens were here to save us from ourselves. They were

brainwashing them through this hypnosis. But I had problems

with Sensory Integration Disorder as a child and have never

been able to be hypnotized. Most people didn't even do it

consciously, but they played it 24 hours a day, and I guess

it got into their subconscious while they slept." He

slumped against John, exhausted from more conversation and

exercise in one hour than he'd had since his return.



"Okay, you're clean, get your ass out of the shower before

you pass out." Mulder said, turning the water off and

helping John wrap a towel around Walter's waist.



Julie applied a clean dressing to his incision and John

helped him into a clean pair of sweat pants and tee shirt.

Finally Julie reconnected his IV to the heparin lock in his

hand and he grudgingly accepted the now familiar routine of

swallowing the NG tube as it was fed into his nose and down

his throat to prevent gagging on it and vomiting. He felt

ridiculous while John pour a can of Ensure through the tube

that went from his nose to his stomach.



"Can't you take the damned thing out and put it back in

when I have to eat again?" Walter asked gruffly.



"No," John said, giving his patient a stern look. "Taking

it out and putting it back in just irritates your throat

even more than leaving it in place. Now are you gonna play

nice or do you need another shot of Morphine?"



Walter crossed his arms over his chest, even though it hurt

like hell. "I don't want any more goddamn drugs." He said

adamantly.



John kissed his forehead. This was the gruff, pain in the

ass man he knew and loved. Walter was getting well. "Then

shut up and go to sleep. You're a worse patient than

Mulder, and that's saying a lot."



Walter awoke near dawn needing to use the bathroom. He

found Kyle Bates sitting at the small table by the single

window in the room, staring out into the view of

nothingness the window offered. He sat down at the table

across from him.



"John has already told me everything." Walter said quietly.



"Then I'm sincerely glad you aren't armed, Mr. Skinner."

Kyle replied.



"There are no hard feelings here, Mr. Bates. John thought I

was dead and he needed someone. You've proven yourself to

be a loyal friend despite everything, and if there had to

be someone else in John's life I'm glad it was someone like

you. Since we are going to be living in close quarters I

wanted you to know that."



Kyle nodded. "Thank you. I knew he loved you, and I knew he

was on the rebound, but I jumped in head first anyway. I

have a tendency to do that. I care for John a great deal,

but I'm glad he got what he really wanted in the end. So

why don't we consider the matter dropped?"



Walter nodded his agreement. Kyle reached into his jacket

pocket and pulled out an object wrapped in a handkerchief,

pushing it in Walter's direction. Walter unwrapped it to

find his glasses.



"I thought you might need them, so I grabbed them off the

dresser while John was packing." Kyle explained.



"Thank you, Kyle. For everything. You should get some

sleep." He carefully leveraged himself out of the chair and

made his way to the bathroom.







They stopped again 36 hours later in Indiana. Tempers were

growing short and not a one of them with the exception of

Walter had slept more than three hours at a time since

leaving Oregon. Another cheap nondescript motel gave them a

few hours respite from the confines of the van, and Walter

was finally able to partake of his first solid meal of

chicken noodle soup and drank the Ensure instead of having

to tolerate the NG tube.



Scully allowed herself the luxury of a phone call to Ham

Tyler's cell phone for a brief conversation with her

mother. Chris Faber, Tyler's friend, had kept a constant

surveillance on her home and no one from the bureau had

visited the house or appeared to be watching it. However,

the FBI had removed documents and computers from the homes

of both Mulder and Dana and John and Walter's townhouse.

They had also confiscated two of the 5 firearms Mulder and

Dana owned. The other three were on their persons. Margaret

and Moira were still staying at the warehouse, and there

had been no suspicious activity to indicate that their

hideout had been discovered.



After the conversation Scully went into the bathroom and

turned the shower on so no one would hear her crying. She

ached for Moira, with both her body and soul. After a few

minutes her husband found her sitting on the toilet seat,

the small bathroom filling with steam from the shower. He

gently eased her up into his arms and kissed her tenderly,

whispering. "I miss her too, babe. We'll all be back

together soon and then we are done. No more FBI, no more

Kersh, no more Spender. You and Moira are all that matter

to me."



He peeled her clothes off and then removed his own, nudging

her into the shower. He washed her hair for her, loving the

feel of the wet strands of burnished auburn between his

fingers. That was probably the only good thing that had

happened from his abduction; he was no longer color blind.

He had no idea why, but he'd learned not to question the

good things that happened to him, just to cherish them. She

molded herself to his embrace, letting him support her

weight as he captured her mouth with his own. He leaned her

back against the warmed tiles and made love to her, his

eyes locked with hers as they took comfort in one another's

arms. They were silent except for Scully's soft gasp when

she climaxed, holding tightly to Mulder's shoulders. When

they were done and the water began to run cooler Mulder

finally relinquished her and smiled.



"We should probably save some hot water for everyone else."

He said, nibbling on her ear.



Her only reply was a low throaty noise of pleasure as she

stepped out of the shower and turned the water off.



Mike woke them all at 2A.M. to begin the last leg of their

journey. Walter was able to sit up for longer periods now,

allowing for his exhausted companions to nap on the

mattress in the back of the van. Scully and Mulder took the

first shift, sleeping until sunrise when Mulder could see

well enough to drive again and relieve Kyle.



John was getting antsy. He and Walter had barely had a

moment to talk. He felt more like his doctor than his

lover. All physical contact they'd had revolved around

Walter's physical care. John longed to put his arms around

him and hold him, to feel Walter pressed against him and

revel in the fact that he was safe and alive. But every

time he contemplated more than the occasional squeeze of

his hand or kiss on his cheek he saw Kyle's face and

stopped himself. As much as he wanted to put his arms

around Walter and never let him go, he couldn't rub his

happiness in Kyle's face like that.



Another 24 hours in the white van, moving swiftly down the

interstate to carry them all back to god-knows-what sort of

bedlam awaited them. Mulder and Scully quietly grappled

with the fact that they had no choice at this point but to

go underground. They had gone from federal agents to wanted

criminals. John wondered if he would still have a job at

Georgetown when he returned. They all sat in silence with

their thoughts.



In the predawn hours of the next morning they pulled up to

the warehouse. The depressing cinder-block building was the

most welcome sight any of them had ever seen. Scully had

the van door open before the vehicle had come to a full

stop, jumping out to beat on the door of the building.



"Tyler, it's us!" She called, no longer able to hide her

frantic need to see her baby.



Tyler swung the door open. A tall, slender blonde woman was

standing behind him holding Moira.



"Who the hell are you?" Scully demanded, reaching for the

baby.



The woman readily gave Moira to her mother, who immediately

began to root for Scully's breast.



"I'm Maggie Blodgett, Chris Faber's girlfriend. Your mom is

asleep and the baby woke up, I was just helping out."



Scully slumped into a chair and latched the baby on to

nurse. "I'm sorry, it's just been a rough week. It's nice

to meet you. Thanks for helping my mom out. I'm sure this

hasn't been easy on her."



John walked in, supporting Walter's exhausted weight under

one shoulder. Maggie Blodgett moved into action.



"Dr. Carter and Mr. Skinner, we set you up a room. It's the

third door down the hall on the right. It's not the Ritz

Carlton, but it's comfortable. There's a wheelchair over

there for Mr. Skinner; we weren't sure what kind of shape

he would be in. Mr. And Mrs. Mulder, we put you in the room

next to Robin's. There aren't enough rooms to give the baby

her own room, so you guys got the biggest room."



John looked around for a chair to help Walter into. He got

him settled as comfortably as possible and helped bring in

the rest of the gear from the van. Ham Tyler was already

outside with cans of spray paint painting the van black.



John brought in all of the medical equipment and left it by

the door. The small group that had stayed behind in DC had

been busy. The nearly empty warehouse now had a large

picnic table and a couch and chairs set up as a common

area, and John saw boxes against the far wall labeled

Carter and Mulder.



"What are those?" He gestured at the boxes.



"Ham and Chris broke into your houses and got as much of

your clothing and stuff as they could before the feds

showed up. Maggie Scully sent over all of Moira's things

that she had at her place, so we have a crib and changing

table for the baby. Both of your places have police tape

around the doors now, so I don't think it's safe to try and

go back. Ham even got Mr. Mulder's fish." She smiled.



Maggie Scully heard the commotion and came down the hall in

her robe and slippers, relief visible on her face. "Oh,

Dana, thank god you're safe." She held her daughter

tightly. "We've all been so scared."



"Mom, why don't you help John get Walter to bed? He looks

like he's going to fall asleep where he's sitting." Dana

asked, wanting nothing more than to be alone with her

daughter for a few minutes.



"Sure, Baby, I'm just so glad to see you." She dropped a

kiss on her daughter's head. "You don't look much better

off than Mr. Skinner. None of you do. Go to bed soon,

okay?"



Dana nodded and watched her mother go off to help John get

Walter upright again.



John tried to convince Walter to use the wheelchair, but it

was useless. "I'm not an invalid, John Carter, I can damn

well walk!" He trudged slowly towards the room, holding

tightly to Maggie Scully's arm. John followed with a couple

of the boxes marked as having come from their townhouse. He

hoped they had found the boxes of Walter's clothes in the

downstairs closet.



John and Maggie got Walter settled into the bed. The room

was sparsely furnished with a kind size bed, a dresser, a

desk and two chairs. Someone had hung a wooden dowel from

the ceiling to hang clothes from as the room lacked a

closet. The room had probably been an office at some point.

It was a bit depressing looking, but John supposed they

should just be grateful to have it. The sheets were clean

and they were together again. That's all he could ask for

at this point.



Walter's color was pallid and his breathing heavy. John

took his pulse and listened to his lungs before deciding

the man  was just exhausted. "Are you hungry? Can I get you

anything?" he asked.



"Yeah, you can stop acting like my doctor and come here."

Walter replied, holding his arms out to John.



John kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed beside his

lover, curling himself into the warm enclosure of Walter's

arms. "Oh God this is good." He said softly.



Walter didn't reply. He kissed John softly on the mouth,

setting his nerve endings on fire. John wouldn't have

believed he could be aroused as grubby and exhausted as he

felt, but he was wrong. His body responded immediately to

Walter's touch. But he knew Walter wasn't ready for

anything physical, so he forced himself not to deepen the

kiss or embrace.



Walter finally relinquished John's mouth. "You people were

in such a hurry to put the old cripple to bed I didn't even

get to get a good look at Mulder and Scully's baby."



"She's beautiful. You can see her later. I don't think you

could tear her out of Dana's hands right now to get a look

at her. And you're not an old cripple. You just had your

spleen removed 4 days ago and had a major head trauma.

You'll be fine. You just need rest and proper care."



"Well," Walter said with a hitch in his voice "I think the

proper care I need is a bit more intimate than having my

blood pressure taken." He ran his large hand down John's

torso, down to his hip and snaked around to caress his

buttock.



John laughed, loving the feel of Walter's shoulder against

his cheek. "You pervert. Don't get any ideas in that horny

head of yours until your stitches come out."



 "A man can dream can't he?"



"Yeah, but that's about all you're going to be doing for

the next few weeks."



There was a knock at the door. John rose and opened it to

find Maggie Blodgett holding a tray containing a plate of

sandwiches and two glasses of milk. "Orders from Dr.

Parish, the patient is to eat at least half a sandwich and

drink all of his milk."



Walter groaned. "How did I go from living in a happily all

male household to living with a resistance cell full of

women?"



Maggie smiled. "You got really lucky, Mr. Skinner. G'night,

gentleman. Sleep well."



John was homeless, his career was probably over and his

lover had nearly been killed. But laying there at that

moment he had never been so happy in his life. He fell into

a deep peaceful slumber.


Losing Everything Part 7



The peace and relief of being in relative safety didn't

last long. Around 2 P.M. people were waking up and starting

to move around the warehouse. As Mulder, Scully, Robin and

Mike sat at the picnic table having coffee someone knocked on the

heavy main door.



Mike went to the door, opened it a crack and had a brief

conversation with the unexpected visitor before drawing his

gun and announcing. "Drop you weapon and step inside."



Alex Krycek slowly entered the warehouse, his good arm above

his head. It was a mere instant before Krycek had two more

guns aimed at him, compliments of Mulder and Scully, and

then a fourth when Chris Faber entered the room.



"Gee, what a warm welcome," he said with a sarcastic snort.

"And after I helped you get Skinner back and all, is

this how you thank me?"



"What the hell do you want Krycek?" Mulder asked, taking

the safety off the gun and loading a round into the

chamber.



"Mulder, believe it or not, I come in peace. Kersh is dead,

and Doggett wants to cut a deal. Can I at least have a cup

of that coffee?"



John stepped into the room and froze when he saw the standoff

taking place. "John, please get the gun from under my bed

and stay with Moira." Mulder said without looking away from

Krycek.



Krycek laughed. "You think I came here to hurt your kid?

I'm on a peacekeeping mission. I came to tell you that

Spender has taken care of Kersh. It was a nasty car

accident, somewhat similar to what happened to Doggett's

truck last week, except Kersh was in his vehicle at the

time. They're gonna give Doggett his job if he can clean up

this unfortunate mess involving you and Scully. He's so

damn glad Kersh is dead he's practically shitting himself."



He was allowed to sit down and Robin brought him a cup of

coffee. They all sat at the picnic table, the four guns

held by their wary owners still trained on him.



"They snowed Doggett completely, Kersh and his boys did.

John didn't have a fucking clue that the US military was

actively helping the aliens, or that the aliens are

planning on turning us into slaves to strip mine our own

planet as soon as they find a way to counteract the vaccine

to the black oil. But now there's a rebellion going on with

some of the aliens who see us as stupid helpless animals

that they should show kindness towards, kinda like the PETA

of the Martian race. Even Doggett didn't know those DOD

records were fake. But now he knows everything, and he's

got enough of a conscience that he just wants to make this

incident with Skinner go away. So here's the deal; Mulder,

Scully and Skinner stay the hell away from the federal

government. No charges will be filed against any of you.

Skinner doesn't talk about what he saw to anyone, ever, and

you all go on and lead nice quiet little lives."



"There's got to be a catch; Doggett's not known for his

generosity of spirit." Mulder said wryly.



"Well, there is one other thing. This resistance group,

which the feds know about by the way, is to pack up and get

the hell out of Dodge immediately. Doggett plans to throw in

with this alien rebel group, but for now he needs things to

smooth over and look like he wiped this group out. So you

have to leave and do it quick or Spender's not gonna trust

him. Spender's getting old and he's not as sharp as he used

to be. Doggett's hoping he can pull the wool over his eyes

long enough to get the NIH working on vaccinating the rest

of the planet against the oil."



"And why are we supposed to believe any of this?" Scully

asked. "You don't have a stellar track record for honesty,

Krycek. And what are you getting out of helping us?"



He leaned in and looked her in the eye, his face intent on

hers. "I've seen Soylent Green, Agent, and I'm not

interested in becoming a starring attraction in the live

remake. And if you don't believe me, have the lone rangers

or whatever the fuck they call themselves go look you up in

the FBI database. You're as clean as whistles. You were never employed by
the federal government; none of you have had as much as a speeding ticket.
The slate is wiped clean as long as you are willing to walk away."



The conversation stopped when Ham Tyler entered the room,

an AR-15 assault rifle slung casually over his shoulder. He

smirked when he saw Krycek.



"Alex, why did I have a feeling you were gonna end up in

the middle of this? You don't know when to keep your nose

out of shit, Boy."



Krycek smiled in a semblance of amusement. "Don't give me

that crap, Tyler. If the money were right you'd be sitting

where I am now."



Tyler shook his head. "You never learn, Alex. This isn't

about money. This is different than a third world dictator

or a few thousand peasants. This is the entire human race.

When it's your whole world against the bad guys, there's

not much choice about which side to be on."



"That's why I'm here." Krycek replied.



Mulder was taken aback. That was the most honest, sincere

thing he'd ever heard come from Krycek's lying, two-faced

mouth. Maybe he did get it this time. He looked at his

wife, seeing the look of relief on her face. His first

instinct was to put a cap in Krycek and be done with it,

but if there was half a chance he was telling the truth the

only smart thing to do was take his family and run like

hell.



"Okay, Krycek, tell Doggett he's got a deal. But he's got

to help me and Scully fake some credentials to explain what

we've been doing with the last ten years of our lives or

we'll never be able to get jobs. And John Carter, his name

doesn't get associated with this at all." Mulder saw

Scully's small nod of approval from the corner of his eye.



Krycek nodded. "Done. One more thing, I have to talk to

Juliet Parish."



Mike snapped to full attention, lining up the site on his

gun with Krycek's heart. "What for?"



"Jesus, what is with you people and all the fucking guns?

Doggett knows she's made a breakthrough in the vaccine. He

wants her to help the NIH when the time comes. He'll be in

contact when its safe. He's willing to have her head up the

research team in exchange for all the research she's done

up until now. No one will ever know she went underground.

Her record is wiped clean, and her research assistant from

UCLA is back at home with his wife and kids."



"I'll go get her." Scully volunteered. "Mulder, join me?"



He nodded and followed her down the hall. "This is too good

to be true," she said as soon as they were out of earshot.



"Scully, you know Doggett better than anyone. Is he honest,

or could he be under Spender's thumb?"



She sighed and shook her head. "John Doggett would never

willingly be under anyone's thumb. He's an ass, but yes, he's

honest. He's not a bad person, just ambitious and a bit of

a chauvinist. He was as good of a partner as he could be in

a bad situation. It's Krycek I don't trust."



"Well, let me get on the phone to the guys and see if they

can verify that our FBI records have been wiped out and

that Julie's research assistant is really alive. I don't

see where we have many options here. If Krycek knows this

place is here than anybody could. We can live to fight

another day or end up in prison...or where Walter was."



"Okay, call the Gunmen. I'm going to go wake Julie up." She

went down the hall to Mike and Julie's room and knocked

softly on the door.



"Julie, you're needed out here," she said. "There's someone

here who wants to talk to you."



"Be out in a minute." Julie called through the door.



Scully went further down the hall to her own room and found

it empty. John was in his room with Walter, sitting on the

bed with Moira in his lap, Walter pointing a gun at the

door.



"Walter, Krycek is here. He says Doggett wants to cut a

deal. Kersh is dead. I think you might want to come hear

this."



Walter winced as he threw back the covers, but he rose and

pulled on his robe. He took the safety off the gun and laid

it next to John. "If Krycek tries to come through this door

just keep shooting until the clip is empty."



They detained Krycek until well after dark verifying his

information, while groups and couples paired off in private

to discuss their options. Finally around 8 P.M they all met

in the common room again. Mulder spoke on behalf of the

group.



"Tell Doggett he has a deal. But he has to give us 48 hours

to clear this place out. Skinner isn't ready to be moved

again."



Krycek nodded. "Done. In 48 hours this place will go up in

flames and a few bodies will be tossed in to make it look

like all the resistance members are dead. Tyler and Faber

can even stick around to help me do it if they want." He

smiled, but it faded quickly when he saw the glowering look

on Tyler's face. Mulder was impressed that there was

someone on the face of the earth Krycek actually seemed to

respect.



"Before we let you leave, who else knows this place

exists?" Mike asked.



"Me and Doggett are the only ones who know the exact

location. Spender knows there's a resistance cell in the DC

area, but hasn't located it yet. He thinks I'm working on

finding it, so I'm risking my own ass here in delaying

another 48 hours. I hope that's enough insurance for you

that I'm telling you the truth."



"And what happens if one of his other lackeys finds this

place before the time is up?" Mulder chimed in.



"Won't happen. The Syndicate is done with, it's just

Spender and a few people that are either loyal to him or

afraid of him. But he's got Parkinson's disease as well as

lung cancer and he's not going to be able to keep anyone

afraid of him much longer. They'll figure out he's going

senile or he'll finally die."



"What about Marita? Is she not working for him anymore?"



Krycek shook his head. "She's hiding out in New Zealand

somewhere."



"Okay, done deal. Get the hell out of here, Krycek, before I change my mind
and shoot you just for the hell of it." Mulder waved his gun towards the
door.



Mike escorted Krycek to his car with his Berretta firmly

lodged against the man's spine. When the car finally

disappeared into the darkness there was an audible sigh of

relief in the room.



Kyle was the first to speak. "Okay folks, where should we

move to? We've got connections with other groups in

Virginia, Louisiana, Utah and Ontario. Decide quick so I

can get in touch with my contacts and make the

arrangements."



A cacophony of voices rose up. They argued, counter-argued,

discussed and dissected the situation into the wee hours of

the morning, until it was finally decided that the

resistance group would go to Louisiana. Mulder and Scully

and John and Walter decided to return to their respective

homes. Scully insisted that her mother stay with them for a

few weeks until they knew for sure that they were all safe.



Not ones to waste time once a decision was made, Mike and

Ham spirited Julie off to the lab to tell them what pieces of equipment

were too expensive to leave behind. Kyle took off to go meet with a

contact to help facilitate the move. Robin started

organizing everything else that needed to be packed and

Maggie Blodgett and Chris Faber said their farewells and

took off for parts unknown.



The sun was up before John and Walter were alone together

again. Walter was exhausted from too much time out of bed

and his refusal of any pain medication. John had to relent

to laying down beside him to get him back in bed.



"I want to go home. I don't want to stay here another

night." Walter said in a tone that was as close to a whine

as John had ever heard come from his mouth.



"You aren't in any shape to leave. And I can't just ditch

these people. They've stuck by us through thick and thin. I

have to help get them out of here." He grew quiet for a

moment, taking Walter's hand. "Besides, I want to say

goodbye to Kyle. I don't want to just wander off into the

sunset and leave him in the dust. I owe him more than

that."



Walter squeezed his hand. "Yes, I suppose you do. I just

want to be able to put all of this behind me. I wasn't

exactly planning on retiring anytime soon, but I don't

think fifty is the optimum age to start a new career

either. I don't know what I'm going to do starting at

ground zero."



John saw the tense set of his jaw. Walter wasn't someone

who easily coped with being out of control of any

situation. He knew the coming months were not going to be

easy on them. He hoped like hell he could come up with some

excuse to keep his job at Georgetown, but he wasn't feeling

real creative at this point. Maybe he'd just give up on

trauma altogether, hang up a sign and go into private

practice.



"We'll be fine," he told Walter, believing it with all his

heart. "After everything we've lived through in the last

few months, we'll find our way in the world again. As long

as I have you I know where I belong." He kissed Walter

deeply, sliding his arms around him.



"As long as I have my big, mean, pain in the ass cripple I

don't need anything else. When I thought I'd lost you I

lost everything."



Walter playfully swatted him on the butt and smiled. "Just

wait, Medicine Boy, when I get my stitches out you're going

to pay for that."







The group decided not to wait around and find out if they

really had the 48 hours Krycek had promised them. By

nightfall the life of the resistance members was loaded

into the now-black van and they were prepared to leave. As

Kyle was hitching his motorcycle to the back of the van

John approached him.



"Kyle, can we talk for few minutes?"



"Sure, let me get this last knot tied and I'll be done."



John watched as he finished securing the bike. When he was

done Kyle stood and faced him. John could have sworn there

were tears glistening in his eyes. "Am I supposed to shake

your hand and say it was nice to know you?" Kyle asked him

softly.



John felt a pang of regret in his chest, Kyle's pain cutting quick and deep
into him. He put his hand on Kyle's shoulder, pulling him closer. He kissed
him softly on the cheek. "No regrets, okay? I don't have any. I'm damned
lucky to know you, Kyle. And I'm always here if you need me. Go find
somebody wonderful and be happy. You deserve it."



Kyle laughed. "Deserving something and getting it are two

totally different things. I've had two wonderful people in

my life, John. Elizabeth and You. I don't think a guy can

ask for much more than to fall in love twice in one

lifetime. I think I should just be grateful for that and

concentrate on getting these goddamn aliens off the planet

for the time being."



There was an awkward silence. "I'm standing here," John

said, "and I feel like a total asshole, but I just can't

say goodbye."



"I'm not very good at goodbyes either. So I'm gonna turn

around and put this box in the van and you're going to get

in your car and leave with Walter and go have a good life.

I love you, John." He picked up the last box sitting next

to the van and turned his back to John, opening the van

door. John walked back towards the warehouse, a dozen

things he should have said to Kyle hanging unspoken in the

air between them.



Saying goodbye inside was no easier. John hugged Robin and

Julie tightly and shook hands with Mike. Ham was still

toting around the assault rifle on one shoulder and now had

a Draganov sniper rifle over the other shoulder, so he

settled for wishing him good luck in his future endeavors.



Finally Mulder, Dana and Maggie left and there was nothing

else to say or do. John helped Walter into the car and with a

final wave to Mike and Julie he drove away.







Walter sighed with relief as he sank into his favorite

leather chair. "I didn't think I was ever going to see this

place again."



"Well, you're going to be seeing plenty of it while you

recuperate." John commented as he picked up the phone to

order dinner. "Shit, I must have forgotten to pay the phone

bill." He commented when there was no dial tone.



"That's okay, I like the idea of no interruptions for a

couple of days."



"Ha. You think there won't be any interruptions? As soon as

Dr. Scully calls to check on you and can't get through

she'll be over here with her stethoscope in hand." John

went into the kitchen to rummage in the pantry for

something to serve Walter for dinner.



"John Carter, forget about food and come here." Walter

called.



John came and sat on the ottoman at the foot of the chair.

Walter leaned forward carefully and ran his hand through

John's hair, then moved his fingertips across the curves

and planes of his face, familiarizing himself once again

with the dear face of his lover. John's breathing became faster, his pulse
racing from the gentle caresses. He'd dreamt of this,

lived for this, for the last six months. John turned his

face up and captured Walter's face between his hands, kissing

him in a long, lingering fashion that left his blood

pounding and his heart soaring. He was home.



"John Carter, have you ever had a perfect moment, one that

you felt your whole life had led up to?"



"Oh yeah. Why?"



"Welcome to mine."







Prologue



12 Months Later, April 18th, 2002



"John, if you polish that plaque anymore you're going to

rub your name off of it." Mulder teased.



"Hey, your wife got her fingerprints all over it again!"

John protested, stepping back to admire the brass plaque

that read "Drs John T. Carter and Dana K. Scully, family

Practitioners"



The plaque hung on the wall next to the reception desk of

their new office in the Londontown, Maryland, Medical

Center. They had chosen this location a few months earlier

when Mulder and Scully purchased a house in the area to

make room for Margaret to live with them. John and Walter

were closing on their house 8 blocks away in a few weeks.



Walter approached them to refill their empty champagne

glasses. "John Carter, if you beam any more you're going to

combust."



"There's no such thing as spontaneous human combustion.

It's medically impossible." Scully commented. "Moira,

please don't stand in the chair. Why don't you go sit in

Uncle Charlie's lap, please?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

"That child has not stood still since she took her first

step. I wish I had that kind of energy."



The party was in full swing. It was a joint celebration of

the opening of John and Dana's medical practice and

Walter's security firm. Mulder had been snapped up by the

Center for Missing and Exploited Children as a profiler a

mere month after Walter's return.



The small office was full. Both Dana's mother and her

brothers were in attendance, as well as Frohike, Byers, and

Langly. Kerry Weaver had flown in and Doug and Carol Ross

were there as well with both of their children. Mike

Donovan and Juliet Parish had sent flowers, but were away

on their honeymoon and unable to attend.





Scully found Mulder attempting to have a conversation with

her brother Bill. She came up to him and whispered in his

ear. He nodded and replied "We'll say our goodbyes and blow

this popsicle stand." With a wide grin on his face.



She approached John and said, "congratulations, Doctor

Carter. You've got your first patient in private practice.

Five minutes apart and I'm ready for my epidural, Mr.

DeMille."





John grinned. "Leave it to your kid to have Mulder's

timing. C'mon, Dr. Scully, let's get thee to the hospital."



"Let me get our coats and I'll drive." Walter said.



Mulder stood in the middle of the room and held up his

champagne flute. "Folks, this is my final toast of the

evening, to my lovely wife whom it looks like will be

giving birth to our son sometime tonight."



Cheers and applause filled the air as Scully felt another

contraction squeeze the breath from her. "Let's go to the

hospital before he's born right here in front of our

guests." She said, grabbing Mulder's arm.



John found Walter in the supply closet sifting through the

coats and jackets. He grabbed him from behind and turned

him around, kissing him gleefully. "You taste like

champagne."



Walter smiled. "You've done a wonderful thing for the two of them. You know
that, don't you?"



"Nah, what's a couple million sperm compared to everything they've done for
me?"



Walter laughed and plundered John's mouth with his own,

breaking the kiss when they were both rendered breathless. John felt like
warmed honey was flowing through his veins. In a low, sexy voice that made
John think more about getting Walter naked than delivering the newest member
of the Mulder family, Walter whispered in his ear, "You taste like a man I'm
going to make mind-blowing love to as soon as he gets home from delivering
my godson."



John groaned happily and put his head on Walter's shoulder.



"Walter."



"Yes?"



"Thank you for being my perfect moment."





END



Additional Author's Notes:



Three things inspired this fic. Well, four as I dare not forget WP Admirer's
fabulous Chicago Series I and II. First, the death of someone more dear to
me than I can express. John's journey of acceptance is very much my own. I
thank John for lightening my load by walking the path with me.



The second and third things are two songs from Rick Springfield's newest
recording called Karma. Yeah, Yeah, laugh all you want, I am a child of the
80's and still adore the guy. Here are the lyrics that inspired me. Shock to
my System kinda became Walter and John's song (to me), and Act of
Faith...well, read the lyrics and it's pretty self explanatory.



Shock to My System

Words by Rick Springfield



So there I stood

Square on my side of the great divide

A message came across the void,

And for the first time in my life,

I'm awake, I'm alive.

I thought I was immune to this

Till I felt the static charges in the air.

I touch you, you're a live wire,

You're the raw fire burning in my heart,

It took me by surprise, that's no lie.

You know you are, you are a sharp

Shock to my system, a spark, a real shock.

You start I can't stop



You taught me how to listen

Shock to my system

My soul, my skin, you plug me in and all my pain is gone

Just like it never was.

And for the first time in my life I know what I feel

Now every time we touch I'm caught off guard.

That's no lie.

Shock to my system





Act of Faith

Words by Rick Springfield



I tell you honestly, don't you go and throw your heart away

I know it's so hard to do,

You've got to let go when you want to hold on.

I know how much you miss him

Celebrate what you had.

Don't cry about the things left unsaid,

It'll do no good.

You look for mercy and a meaning somewhere,

But you know that the hurting won't go

Till you walk through the fire.

It's gonna take an act of faith to stand up and face the day.

It's gonna take an act of faith, nobody can make you stay.

It's gonna take an act of faith

Maybe love will find it's way back into your life.

Here's my heart my love is in it

Stand up, don't you fall.

You just take good care of where you are.

You're thinking life's through with you.

That's not what he'd want or what you should do.

I know you loved him baby celebrate who he was.

I know you know you've got to go on and live you life.

Go down to the river of the spirit that runs through you,

And lay yourself in the healing waters.

It's gonna take an act of faith to stand up and face the day.

It's gonna take an act of faith,

Nobody can make you stay.

Love is a healer.

There is no purpose served in holding on.

Love is a healer.

There is no understanding why.

Love is a healer.

There is no sin in you that brought this to your door.

My love, it just is.